The palest ink

The candles

2012-01-08T21:24:00.005+11:00

Inspired by my sister-in-law, i decided that the house needed a bit of re-arranging too!:)

As I was arranging these glass vases, I was flooded with memories (chewah)..

I love scented candles.

When I was pregnant, I would light those candles in my room or on my study desk (study desk kt rumah laa of course bukan kat uni:p) and enjoy the smell!:)

I used to use these vases for my little candles.

But as much love I had for it, for some reason I totally forgot that I had them the few weeks before I went into labour.

I was extremely grateful for the 2 days I was in the hospital (just a bit upset cause hubs couldnt stay overnight). The midwives were just wonderful and extremely helpful (they helped bathe and change Yousuf..hehe) and I was somehow somewhat dreading to go home (both my moms couldn't come).

The day finally came. Yousuf and I were discharged and I forced myself to say the my goodbyes.

As heavy as my legs felt I somewhow managed to walk all the way to the basement with Yousuf and hubs to where the car was parked.

The journey home was - well, i've gotta say i've never seen my husband drive so carefully! hehe

We finally reached home.

As my husband parked in the driveway I stared at my house which now seem so alien to me. It looked empty, unlike the busy hospital.

and I was really scared.

I didnt know if I could handle Yousuf alone.

All by myself.

my husband helped me get out of the car, yousuf too..

And as he opened the door for me - i cried!

my husband had lighted candles and the house smelt wonderful!:')

'welcome home' he said..

it was then I realized, I wasn't alone.
Allah has given me my husband to accompany me in this new journey of mine, alhamdulillah.
:)

home is definitely where the heart is.
I know Yousuf will love it here more than in the hospital, cause he's with his dad:)
THIS is home:)

When Allah gave us Yousuf, he also increased my adoration and my respect to my husband. There is nothing more than wanting to become his wife in Jannah. Aaaaa, I cant bear the thought of having the bidadari's taking over my spot beside him!! (uuu, isteri mana xjeles:p)

Daripada Ummu Salamah, isteri Nabi Muhammad S.A.W, katanya di dalam sebuah hadis yang panjang: Aku berkata, "Wahai Rasulullah! Adakah wanita di dunia lebih baik atau bidadari?" Baginda menjawab, "Wanita di dunia lebih baik daripada bidadari.."

[Riwayat At-Tabrani]

(my dream)

ya Allah love my husband more than I do..
and make me dear to his eyes like You have made Khadijah RA to rasulullah,
and my mom to my dad..

"And among his signs is this, that He created for you mates ... and mercy between your (hearts)"

(Ar-Rum:21)

Surah Maryam and I

2011-12-25T15:43:00.004+11:00

PUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!
*blows on cobwebbed blog*

hehe. its been so long mashaAllah..
the last entry was about my first 3 months being pregnant, and now my lil guy is 3 months old!:)
Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..

I'm so blessed with Yousuf. Everyday i fall in love deeper and deeper with this lil hero of mine. Its weird going to uni without him. He used to accompany me all the time, but now he has to stay home. and mashaAllah, he occupies my mind mann, when im at uni!
O.o

As Allah brings me through this journey of mother hood, I am reminded of my very own dear mother...

(31:21) and We have enjoined on men to be dutiful and good to their parents. His mother bore him weakness and hardship and upon weakness and hardship.

There are so many verses and hadith that make mention about the importance of honouring our moms. And after going through labour and just a few months with him, Allah knows how much I hope that Allah will endear me to Yousuf's heart.

It was Saturday. I slowly felt the contractions coming but still being bearable I decided to finish reading Surah Maryam.. By verse 22, I just had to stop. The pain was getting a bit too much..

(Maryam:23) And the pains of childbirth drove her (Maryan AS) to the trunk of a date palm. She said: "Would that I had I died before this and had been forgotten and out of sight

The pain drove me to the Royal Women's Hospital. I could barely walk, my contractions then were already frequent, and was clinging dearly on to my husband, depending on him every step as we walked to the labour ward. I felt weak as I have not yet taken my breakfast that morning.

(Maryam:23) And shake the trunk of the date palm towards you, it well let fall fresh ripe date palms upon you

There was no date palms in the labour ward unfortunately, but there was my husband. He remembered how rasulullah would chew on dates and feed the sick with his mouth and did exactly that for me. I refused the first time he offered me. I mean, really, try eat while having contractions!

But he insisted.

Wanting to please and obey my husband badly (having in mind at that time the advice of one of my sisters who told me that it's ever so important to consistently seek forgiveness from our husbands and it is his redha that insyaAllah Allah will make ease the labour), he fed me. Suprisingly, I could gulp it down easily and mashaAllah, I it was just one date but I swear I felt that strong powerful surge of energy, making me feel more prepared to face the next contraction (lesson learnt: sila taat suami.hehe)

My waters broke during a really strong contraction. Not long after that I was pushing and Subhanallah, I heard the cry:')

By Allah, it was the most beautiful sound i've ever heard!
The midwives quickly put him on my chest.
I looked into my baby's eyes and he looked into mine.
Oh mashaAllah, the feeling was just undescribable!

The doctors were busy stitching up and doing stuff but my eyes were only on this lil baby of mine..
My husband was whispering to me, "anak kita, sayang" and till today my tears still swell up in my eyes as I remember those words of his..

My husband made the azaan in Yousuf's ears and he stopped crying and listened attentively to my husband till the very end.

It was enough to start the water works again..

ya Allah make him lil muttaqeena imaama..
ya Allah, make him among those who say,

(Maryam:30-33) Verily I am a slave of Allah..

And He has made me blessed wheresoever I be, and has enjoined on me salat and zakat as long as I live

And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblessed

And Salam (peace) be upon the day I was born and the day I die and the day I shall be raised alive

I love you, sweetheart:)

Down memory lane..

2011-06-03T22:09:00.004+10:00

Its been so long since i've last written my thoughts, when really,

this is probably one of the periods in my life in which Allah has

brought upon me the richest of experiences, mashaAllah..

my dearest undergrad sisters are starting their exams soon,

indicating the last moments of me being a tutor for this sem.

being a first timer (together with another senior tutor) teaching a class of 53 students,

i do have to admit wasn't easy,

but in many ways, it has been most elinghtening as my students brought me down memory lane

reminding me of my own assignments and undergrad years,

those then bitter, but now sweet times spent with aishah and iza nadia.

in many ways i felt that the students taught me more beyond

words. patience, perseverence, planning.. to keep calm above all.

the fourth workshop remains to me a piece of memory i may not be able to forget for the rest of my life.

I had bad cramps over the weekend, and had to go to the emergency department that very day.

it was suspected I might have had a miscarriage or an etopic pregnancy.

I could only go after my 3-hour worskhop class. During that time,

to keep my head in the game - was something i struggled immensely.

my husband was still in malaysia then.

A lot of my lovely friends offered to follow me to the hospital - so grateful

am I to have such wonderful friends, mashaAllah.

but Allah knows best my feelings then, for some reason or another

i just felt i wanted time alone with what could be my last moments with my lil baby..

It was at that point,i felt, the time Allah was so close in my heart as His signs, His verses,

oh mashaAllah, surah maryam, al-imran, luqman - gave comfort more than words can ever describe.

After taking blood samples etc, I was asked to come again on Thursday to do an ultrasound..

I was already 10th week into my pregnancy, but it was only then I felt such attachment and

emotions I have never felt before..

Though Thursday was only 2 days away, it felt like the longest period in my life.

I found myself constantly swelled in hot tears, crying myself to sleep.

I haven't even seen lil bubbles yet, but my night and day was consumed by thoughts of it..

Amazing mashaAllah, the feelings Allah gives in a mother.

Thursday finally came. I was called in to do a transvaginal ultrasound.

Uncomfortable it may seem, the very moment the soner turned the screen to me,

showed me my baby, and said "There's your baby. He's very healthy. See his heartbeat?"

oh mashaAllah- to see that heart beat - I was swept by ultimate relief and happiness,

Allahuakbar!

And subhanallah, by the mercy of Allah, to see my growing baby in my 21st week of pregnancy

was just an amazing feeling. bubbles have grown so much since the last time i saw him:)

The bonding I felt seeing my baby kicking about and all - was just so strong, mashaAllah.

Alhamdulillah I've been feeling him kicking and all for the past few weeks:)

He practices his kickboxing when he hears his abah's voice.

Or when his umi takes a break from reading Quran out loud - he'll start kicking in retaliation:p

The whole experience reminded me of my own mother and father.

And made me appreciate them ever so much in so many ways I have never before..

I pray to Allah so that He loves them more than I can ever I love them

and grant them the best place in His Jannah..

The whole experience has made me appreciate my friends even more. How they were with me, through and through. Their love and concern were so touching mashaAllah. Only Allah can reward them..

The whole experience also gave me an insight of the pain

and sadness of those who have badly wanting to conceive.

I pray that Allah grants patience and perseverence in the trial, insyaAllah..

And I am ever thankful to Allah Taala for giving me a wonderful husband. So much has happened, mashaAllah - or so i feel - but with every storm, I have learnt to appreciate my husband even more.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..

Ya Allah..

Thank You..

Alhamdulillah:)

Allah's Blessings

2011-03-09T10:26:00.002+11:00

Alhamdulillah for all that Allah has given me.
Sometimes in my sujud, I try to make thanks for Allah by trying to name
the blessings He has bestowed upon me..
the more blessings I name, the more I realise that there's more to it..
it is so humbling and for most of the times, those attempt
will just make me tear..
ya Allah, indeed You are Most Gracious:')

Day by day, I've come to appreciate Allah even more so - Alhamdulillah.
mashaAllah the day I knew I had a lil fighter in my tummy, remains for me an unforgettable moment:')

the feelings and emotions Allah puts into the heart of a mother is indescribable,
eventhough to this day, bubs is only the weight of 4 paper clips and the size of a plum
(got this off my internet - babycenter etc. has become my new daily newspaper:p)
but umi is sooo proud of you lil one:)

10 weeks, sweetheart - you have come a long way. a mujaheed (fighter) indeed you are:)

Abah is in Malaysia at the moment and umi is in Melbourne.
Sometimes umi feels sad because abah is not around.
But then Allah gives umi strength, when He reminds that you are with me:)
and Alhamdulillah you have so many lovely aunties who care so much about you and your umi:')
and of course your wonderful nanna who's messages always makes umi smile..

Now umi has a little friend that follows umi everywhere umi goes..
Hears everything that umi says.
And prays when umi prays..
Umi makes doa you will become lil muttaqeena imaama:)

‎(Luqman:33) With Allah is the knowledge about the Hour (end of the world). He is the One who sends down the rain, and He knows the contents of the womb. No soul knows what will happen to it tomorrow, and no one knows in which land he or she will die. Allah is All-Knower, Well-Acquainted.

Which of the favours of your Lord do you deny? (Ar-Rahman)

2011-01-06T10:18:00.003+11:00

Salam:)

mashaAllah, it is beyond my mind that so much can happen within a month.. Allah is indeed the Best of Planners. Now that I am back in Melbourne, everything seems soo surreal..

I am grateful for all that He has given me..
Alhamdulillah:)

My lovely parents whom I love with all my heart and more..
My family who has been my greatest support (particularly MA who has done so much:'), angah&k.wati who flew to bangi, k.anis&k.lang for always being there)..
My husband whom i learn to appreciate more and more everyday- Alhamdulillah..
and his family - the most warmest family i've ever met-subhanallah

My wonderful friends who stood by me all this time..

Alz who took the day off for my akad and for being the most wonderful maid of honour a bride can ever ask for!
Iej for flying all the way from kk:')
Yaya for the beautiful hand-flowers..
sufia, hana, hanim, syera, kak aini's (the dentist and the lecturer), een, and lynn who has been my pillar of support throughout the year..
Mills, Eli, Ibiq, Tasha, k.nik, fatin, k.ulfa, nadrah, amalina and fazz for making sure i behave during my akad:D
wunny and hanim for being the best emcees in the world!
k.aini, pushie and k.murni for generously lending me your stuff:)

All fightersz who came to my wedding - i am soo glad you guys barged into the cake cutting session! sungguh akward i rasa before that until you guys came to the rescue! hehe..
All akhwat's who came - mashaAllah, indeed your presence has given me so much tazkirah, reminders and insights:) - adik, dayah habil, akmar, ebby, huda, liyana, nadia, azza&humaira, thuaibah, awin, shiken, tim, bit, fiza, alyaaism, reena, asiah, ecah, amira, belle, aini, mery, tika, aisyah kamal, mazni .. (just to name a few:p)
My long-lost bangi girlfriends - kamalia, the twins - laily laila, izzah, jaja and family!
My melbourne uni darls - aishah, izanadia, fatimah and all!
my dear neighbours,
my teachers (pn hani) , my friends i made in intec, interviews, programmes and at some point in my life (like k.murni, k.ila & k.munira)
-oh it would take me DAYS to list down all of my dear friends -
but from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for your prayers and du'a:)

My deepest apologies if i was not able to be the best of host..
and whether or not you were able to make it really, your prayers mean so much to me:)
im sorry im not able to list each and every one of you, but that does not at all mean that i've forgotten you.. every now and then i am reminded of your smiles i saw during the reception or the hugs you gave before, during and/or after my wedding.. the calls, the sweet notes, the wonderful gifts and all the precious messages you've dropped..
if only only i could find the right words to express my appreciation to each and everyone of you..

i love you guys to bits..
each and every one of you..
i cannot thank Allah enough for crossing my paths with such great great great people..

When i try to remember the blessings Allah has bestowed upon me, it is indeed most humbling..
Really, words fail me. Allah, indeed belongs to You all glorification..

Thank you Allah for all that You have bestowed upon me:)
Thank You, Allah..
Thank You..

“[...] and if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them,” (14:34)

ps: i love you

2010-12-21T15:57:00.020+11:00

WARNING: This is a sticky entry.hehe..

They say marriage is like embarking upon a ship.

For each voyage, the final destination is certain - be it France, Singapore or Australia.
I make do'a that ours will always be Allah. Akhirah. Jannah.

They say the sea will not always be calm for there will be times of turbulence.
I make do'a that Allah grant us sakinah and mawaddah when He tests us with trials and tribulations.

They say, eventhough the ship crew keeps a close eye on the weather and prepares accordingly, there are times when things don’t turn out to be as expected.

I make do'a that Allah grant us clarity in minds to incorporate all those unexpected events into moving towards our ultimate destination.

They say that there are other boats out there in the sea. While some intend good, others like pirate ships may intend harm. Although they are themselves claiming right to live, are nevertheless gaining their living at the expense of others – ruining the ship that others have built.

I make do'a that Allah grant us openness to clarify the issues and strength to not let the whispers of syaitaan, gossips and malicious lies ruin our marriage.

The sea is vast and there are times our ship will get lost - uncertain. They say, stop and look at the heavens where the stars may show us the way.

You say, stop and let us return to Allah - may Allah show us the way and guide us to all that is best for our dunya and akhirah.

They say it is the spiritual journey that will give us the resources to deal with adversity - and this is why our blessed prophet claimed that marriage is half the religion.

I say, thank you Allah for choosing Nazri Kasuan for me as my other half..
:)

Hold my hand, and help me in this journey to Allah, sweetheart. You have made every experience thus far a warm-up preparation for eternal joy and happiness in Allah SWT's name..

i love you:)

Oh Afnan!

2010-11-30T11:12:00.005+11:00

Reading's good, right?

right.

I've always found joy and this deep sense of satisfaction from reading, Alhamdulillah.

(hehe, then i met leena and things got even better!:D)

So my parents are trying to get my lil bro, afnan, hooked up with reading too.

Born into the x-box,wii,ps3 generation - this can be extremely challenging!

This morning, i saw him reading on the couch!

so I sat beside him and asked what he was reading (though knowing well it was 'The philosophers Stone':p) - he showed me the 'Forbidden Forest' chapter of his Harry Potter book.

Wanting to inject some passion (cheewah) into him I said, ' uuuuu! this is a scary chapter!'

guess what he replied?

'Thats because you're a girl'

#_#

oh my toothache

2010-11-29T11:28:00.005+11:00

One of my wisdom tooth is (finally) coming out.

Allah be my strength - its PAINFUL.

and i catch myself not being able to think straight. Even the simplest of things become so difficult mashaAllah, as if the whole body is sharing the pain.

"The Ummah are like the limbs of a man, where if the eye hurts the whole body feels pain and if the head hurts, the whole body feels pain and suffering." (hadith)

Allah forgive me.

Why does my heart not share the pain when phosphorus bombs rain on kids in Gaza?
Why do I not cry in pain when masses and masses of graves are being dug for our brothers in Afghanistan?
Why does my heart not bleed when my innocent brothers and sisters imprisoned and tortured?
Ya Allah, has my heart hardened so much so, that I have now become immune to the afflictions upon my brothers and sisters?

Ya Allah, give us all the ability to wake up with less love for this World and more for the hereafter. .
Ya Allah, grant us strength in faith and firmness in believing Allah SWT’s decree and in the Prophet (SAW)’s saying..
Ya Allah, grant us the ability to rise today insha’Allah and stand up for all those under injustice and oppression.

ya Allah, allow us to aid our brothers and sisters who are heavily burdened.

May Your Immense blessing and mercy be showered upon the oppressed.

May Allah SWT exchange their fear and hardship with tranquillity and ease.

May He SWT bring guidance to the oppressors and keep us all firm on the straight path.

Ameen Ya Rabbal Alaamin

Melbourne. Lovin it:)

2010-11-04T08:37:00.025+11:00

Salam alaik:)

As I was walking to uni today, I came upon this huge realization..

This realization that, one of the things that I would really really miss about melbourne is...

get this (hehe)..

walking to UNI!

call me a nerd or whatever, but I love love love walking to uni:)

so before I re-bury myself in my stacks of journals, let me tell you one of the routes to my uni:)

(hehe, i know. like there's nothing else better to be done, but you know what they all say - 'its my blog so let me be' :p)

So, say bismillah, and walk out into Lygon St and you'll see these deep purple flowers!

mashaAllah!:D

and then take a right into this alley which I'm-not-sure-of-its-name, but it doesn't really matter because these sweet little flowers are even more interesting!

Stop for a second and adore the heavens.. Oh, I do so lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove Melbourne's skies!:)

Allahuakbar!

(Al-Mulk:3-4)
He Who created the seven heavens one above another; no want of proportion wilt thou see in the Creation of (Allah) Most Gracious. so turn thy vision again: Seest thou any flaw?

Again turn thy vision a second time; (thy) vision will come back to thee dull and discomfited, in a state worn out.

Then walk unto swanston St,

(6:59) .. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that it is [written] in a clear record.

Before reaching the physics building!

And all these beautiful beautiful flowers, subhanallah!

(33:22) And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colours: verily in that are Signs for those who know.

Turn left into my fac when - oh no! there's construction works going on!

So must go around the old engineering building, but its ok because, i've never seen these weird red flowers before!

And as I was to walk into the buidling,

*gasps*

I see four poor homeless teddies!!

A tip for those who just dont have time to exercise - skip the elavator and take the stairs!!:D

And here we are! at my study office:)

Which reminds me, I've got to get some writing done:)

Asbahnaa wa asbahal mulku lillahi walhamdulillahi laa syariikalah:)

We wake up this morning engulfed in the majesty of Allah.. And Alhamdulillah, no one do we worship but Allah:)

Which of the favours of your Rabb do you deny? (Surah Ar-Rahman)

Wedding invitation

2010-10-27T09:17:00.018+11:00

Love for Allah

If my love is attached to Thee

Then from sin I will be free

Each time my heart will beat

Your name will resound with heat

With your name shivers my each limb

They seek to be released from whim

Allah, Allah, is my hearts speech

Your Mercy is what I beseech

The Most Merciful keep me content

With all that You have sent

Keep in my heart Your remembrance

And in Your deen and love allow me to advance

Help me in my quest

Permit me to pass the ultimate test

Save me from the clutches of Satan

Give me death upon Imaan.

Found this poem, and just fell in love with it:)

Anyway, im burning to congratulate farahiyah, diha, farah J, paddy, kay, tasharina, ichik, sakeenah, izzaturrahmi, farah elida, lina for their weddings/upcoming weddings:)

may Allah's barakah and mercy be upon your marriage:)

With hearts full of gratitude to the never ending bounties of Allah Taala, Nazri and I would also like to invite our dearest friends and family to our waleemah on the 4th Dec 2010 (Bangi) or 11th Dec 2010 (Muar).

Do make doa for us insyaAllah:)

"the Prophet, whenever he sees a person getting married, he makes dua for him with what is appropriate:
Barakallahu lakuma, wa barakallahu ‘alaykuma, wa jamaa baynakuma fee khair." (hadith At-Tirmidhi)

A law for a lion and ox is oppression

2010-10-22T12:29:00.002+11:00

A PREGNANT woman in southern China was detained, beaten and forced to have an abortion just a month before her due date because the baby would have violated the country's one child limit, her husband claims.

Construction worker Luo Yanquan said his wife was taken kicking and screaming from their home by more than a dozen people on October 10 and detained in a clinic for three days by family planning officials, then taken to a hospital and injected with a drug that killed her baby.

Home is where the heart is:)

2010-10-20T08:07:00.026+11:00

20 more days before I go home, insyaAllah!
yayyy!

cant wait to see umi ayah, and all my brothers!

my girlfriends too!

especially those with bulging tummies!

owhhhh, and not to forget all the babies!!

:):):)

huseyn (my bro after me) is finally home!

we haven't met for years!! (he's been studying in the UK and so our holidays never coincided)

Cant wait to see askaree (bro aft huseyn) - who is (of all times!!) coming to Melbourne for

his workshop end of November O_o

though it may not deemed macho by him but
*I misss youuuuuuuuuu, askareeeeee* ngehehehee
(i can almosssst see him roll his eyes - sweet!:D)

and did i mention i got an email from afnan this morning? xD
kids nowadays sungguh tech savvy - I think emails were
probably only for the superduper rich when I was his age.

either that, or it was nonexistent.

Or maybe i was just simply ignorant -

*sigh* those were my glorious periods
of snail mail - writing to my bff who was in Melbourne (sungguh lama
tak guna term bff ni!hehe)

But talk about the sweet past, I can't help to be extremely grateful for my present:)

Things've been hectic for my housemates and I - our schedule timelines have been somewhat skewed so we hadn't been having the time to sit together that much.

But alhamdulillahilataala, last 2 nights, one of my housemates had the day off so she cooked something special for us - salmon and pasta!

(kira abis grand laa for students like us! hehe - itupun the salmon was a sumbangan ehsan from a friend who had to clear her fridge because she was going back home for good:D

It was kinda funny because not knowing it was salmon (thinking it was just some normal fish) - my housemate initially nak buat sambal - but sambal salmon does seem a bit outlandish doesn't it:p)

and alhamdulillah, my other housemate and I, all came back early, so we had dinner together!!

- and it felt soooo good!! i looooved every single sec to bits!:)

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal:)

yesterday, however, all 3 of us came back quite late.

Late and faaaaaaamished:D

But there were no food in the house.

So we bought a loaf of bread, sat together and had the most zuhud of dinners!

- and it felt soooo good!! i looooved every single sec to bits!:)

The food was the variable, but my wonderful housemates were the constants:)It wasnt much of the food, then. It was more of their wonderful company.

Sure I cant wait to go home, msia.
but im gona soooo miss them when I do because next year, all of us will be staying separately.

(ok. Maybe Im being over-sentimental

because all of us duduk bangi-putrajaya je pun. hehe)

Then there's hana banana, athiwwah ~hQ, aisya nabilah, intan, zunita, syafiqah, leena, zahra, ltg (latrobe girls:p), k.aini, k.mel, k.mashitah, k. hidayah, saadah, fazz, itwwii, jamie, izzaturr, azni, fairuz's, pnut, fatihah ty, raheel, ala, amina, diocel, lygon down the road, lygon up the road, bouverie up, bouverie down, ames, mc arthurs, elgin's, claytonians, sufia, syida, mar, haslinda, akila, badriah, farhana, masyi, oh-im-soo going to have to spend the whole day listing all my wonderful wonderful friends I have here in Melbourne! I havent mentioned canberra, sydney and adelaide.. oh dont forget brisbane! and perth~

Tasmania too!

*group hugg*

Im soo grateful Allah crossed our paths! I pray that our friendship remains till jannah!:)

I'm soo blessed, alhamdulillah:)

Thank You Allah. Thank You:)

(14:34) and if you count the blessings of Allah, never will you be able to count them

Spring's gift

2010-10-15T17:21:00.002+11:00

I envy the Sand that met his feet
I'm jealous of Honey he tasted sweet
Of Birds that hovered above his head
Of Spiders who spun their sacred web,
to save him from his enemies.

I envy clouds formed from the seas,
that gave him cover from the Heat
of a Sun,
whose Light could not compared,
with his whose Face did shine so Bright,
that all was Clear in Blinding Night.

I envy sightless Trees that gazed upon his form,
completely dazed.
Not knowing if the Sun had risen,
but felt themselves in unison,
with those who Prayed and Fasted too,
simply because he Told them to.

With Truth and Kindness, Charity
from God who gave such Clarity.
His Mercy comes in one He sent
to Mould our Hearts more Heaven-bent.

I envy all there at his Side
who watched the Turning of the Tide.
as Truth prevailed and Falsehood fled
and Hope restored Life to the Dead.

Women and Men through him found Grace
to Seek together, God's Noble Face.
I envy the Cup that gave him drink
his Thoughts that helped us all to Think,
to be One Thought that passed his Mind,
Inspiring him to act so Kind.

For me, this World is not one Jaunt,
if I could simply be a Thought,
from him to God throughout the Ages,
as Revelation came in Stages.

I pity all who think it Odd,
to hear him say "There is One God",
or "He was sent from God to Men,
to Hone their Spirits' acumen."

It's Pride that blinds us from the Sight,
that helps Good Men to see his Light.
he taught us all to be God's slaves,
and he will be the one who Saves,
Humanity from Sinful Pride,
Muhammad has got on his side.

So on this day be blessed and sing,
for he was born to Grace our Spring.
with Lilies, flowers,
Life's rebirth;
with a Dome of Green like his, on Earth.

ps: leena, i just had to share this.. its just so beautiful:,) thx sweetheart!

Pawn

2010-10-08T10:07:00.004+11:00

Every pawn is a potential queen.

Allah has given each and every one of us, our own potentials.

To be a queen, the pawn has to cross the board having face much obstacles and possibility of self-sacrifice along the way.

Trials and tribulations have a way in unleashing those potentials locked tight deep within us.

May Allah keep us strong and patient in facing our tests of life:)

Checkmate

2010-10-06T09:39:00.008+11:00

At the end of the game,
the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
(Italian Proverb)

Regardless our positions, our status, our achievements in this life - upon Allah is our return.

Ya Allah grant us husnul khaatimah. ya Allah, please please please grant for us a good ending.....

Miracles

2010-09-29T17:03:00.001+10:00

Yupp, right on top of that shelf of ours lie the biggest miracle anyone can ever ask for:)

sure its precious, but it belongs to a place much higher than that shelf..
it belongs to our hearts:)

ya Allah make the quran the spring of our hearts, the banisher of our sadness.. and the reliever of our distress.

ps: you guys just haaaaaaaveee to watch thissss!!!
the lil girl is, mashaAllah, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cuuute :):):)

Lost Symbols.

2010-09-20T10:19:00.021+10:00

Time is a river..
and books are boats..

many volumes start down that stream, only to be wrecked and lost beyond
recall in its sands..
only a few, a very few,
endure the testings of time and live to bless the ages following..

concealed within those pages, there hides a wondorous secret..

One day thelight would dawn, and mankind would finally begin to grasp the simple, transformative truth and take a quantum leap forward in the understanding his own magnificence..

(the lost symbols, pg 488)

dan brown meant something else, but in my mind, i felt as if it was meant for my most valuable possession:) to be able to read the Quran, what more blessed to understand it and follow its teachings is a blessing beyond comprehension:)

ya Allah, make the Quran the spring of our hearts, the banisher of our sadness and the reliever of our distress:)

Never too late till its over:D

2010-08-28T11:22:00.007+10:00

Scene 1:

You're sweating profusely. No, its not the heat. But it's question number 5 on your final exam paper. What on earth is this questionnnn?? grrrrr O_o

and the fact that you're school genius is sitting beside you doesn't help at all as you steal a glance- and yes. It was no miracle that she was writing as much and as fast as she can.

Steal a glance and..

wait..

then you steal another.

It was then you realized that you could actually clearly see what she was writing..

Scene 2:

You're in desperate need of panadols. desperately desperate. The pain's taking away all your energy. You cant think straight. You cant even walk straight!

When you've finally arrived safeway (which is hugeee), you take a box of panadol (which is tinyy).

The huge supermarket was deserted. There was no one at all in sight. Not even the safeway freshfood people. You rummage your handbag to see which panadol your purse is allowing you to afford when suddenly you realize OMG! you didnt bring your purse!!!

Your pain throbbing.

Scene 3:

Congratulations! you have been elected as the treasurer for the rotary club! (actually the election was 7 months ago:p)

The new month has come and it's ceti time. being the efficient person you are, your members have learnt to pay up on time.

You walk out the meeting room with aud5000 in your pocket (CASH $.$) .

Your stomach suddenly grumbles. in fact, its actually been grumbling since yesterday since you haven't been eating. This month has been a bit tight since you had to buy a new laptop.

You pass a sushi shop - your favourite! AND THEY WERE SELLING CHEAP TODAYY!!

JUST 50CENTS a sushi roll!!!

You don't have money in your account

You only have money in your pocket.

A lot of money..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene 1:

Cheating on your people. Corruption.

Scene 2:

The pain of your ancestors still makes you cringe but the white phosphorus burns on these Palestinians? - satisfaction.

Scene 3:

You are the country's finance minister. Country's billions are in your hands.

No one would notice if you buy your wife a Chanel handbag or two.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its fasting month.

The food's there in the fridge. In the cupboard. Everywhere in the kitchen.

Your tummy grumbles - You're famished!!

There's even a box of your most-favourite-box-of-chocs-in-the-entire-universe on your desk.

You soooo want them! - You're salivating!!

No one's around. No one's at home.

But you choose refrain, to stay on fasting.

Because Allah is watching.

Taqwa.

With taqwa, every deed counts eventhough no one's watching.

With taqwa, your pain doesn't give concession to do injustice to others.

With taqwa, every cent counts eventhough you have gazillions.

Fasting trains self-restrain, self-discpline, and integrity. To have ultimate control over yourself.

The answer to today's predicaments.

Salam Ramadhan..

You are on your way to be a greater person..

I dream of Badr

2010-08-13T09:55:00.016+10:00

It is cold and reaches my chest. Under the rays of the setting sun, the sand hills in the east shine like iridescent masses of agate with ever-changing pastel shadows and subdued reflexes. “Where am I?” i whispered to myself as i felt the violence of fear in this strange place. My eyes too, seemed to do violence on the delicate colour of the hues as it followed the perceptible flow of shadows toward the greyness of growing dusk.

“Where are you from? TELL US!!!” the loud voice echoed the sand hills, bringing to halt the symphony of thoughts orchestrating in my mind. My throat becomes swallowed, constricted, and every breath moves a thousand torturing needles at the base of my tongue. I turn my head to find 3 men surrounding another 2. I hardly could hear the mumbling reply of the 2 men before the 3 started hitting them. “Astaghfirullah..”, i say to myself. Before I knew it my legs started walking in their direction. My heart was caught in my throat. “Stop!!” i tell my legs. But it was too late.

“We’re from Quraysh.. we’re from Quraysh” the mumblings of the 2 men became more discernable as my legs brought me closer. “You lie!!!” roared the other 3. “You’re from Abu Sufyan’s caravan, aren’t you!!!! Lie not to us! Now tell us where you’re from!!!!”

Quraysh. Quraysh. Isnt that the place where my Nabi SAW was from? Where am I??? In the darkness, behind the boulders I was hiding - fear, confusion has grown to be a torment, and the desire for answers the one, the overpowering thought in a mind that can no longer hold orderly thoughts.

“Abu Sufyan’ s caravan.. We are from Abu Sufyan’s caravan” a weak voice said, as if surrendering to the pains rendered by the other 3. And as if satisfied by the answer, the 3 men let them go.

I suddenly discern a dark figure appearing from a far point in this pathless wilderness. Why my heart suddenly felt a ray of hope, why the figure felt like soft light without sound, a good friendly light, nur, that embraced me like a warm blanket in this harsh coldness of this heartless dessert, that – i cannot explain.

“When they tell you the truth you beat them, and when they lie to you, you leave them alone?! Wallahi, they spoke the truth when they said they were from Quraysh”

His voice was stern but loving at the same time. Like a father to a child. Heart full of love but not to the extent so as to spoil. His presence in itself was an awe. His voice was like the full moon in this thick night. Each word was carefully calculated. Disciplined. Controlled. Measured.

“Who IS this man?” i found my fear replaced by admiration, but my curiosity grew exponentially. An invisible rope was pulling me towards this man as I found his demeanour enchanting.

The 2 men were called back to this blessed soul, and with a voice that is able to lit even the darkest of hearts, he asked gently, “What news do you have of Quraysh?”

“They are behind this mound that you see”, answered one of the two.

“How many?”

“Very many”

“What are their numbers?”

“We do not know”

“How many camels do you slaughter every day?”

“9-10 camels a day”

“Which of the Quraysh notables are among them?”

“Utbah bin Shaybah, the sons of Rabiah, Abu’l Bukhtari ibn Hashim, Hakim ibn Hiza, Naufal ibn Khuwailid, Al-Harith ibn Amir, Umayyah Khalaf......”

The man of nur let them go. And turned to the other three and said, “Here is Mecca! Confronting you with its choicest sons!! Their soldiers are 900 to 1000 as they slaughter 9-10 camels a day”

The realisation hit me violently as if some hidden force were pushing my heart out of my dreams of death. My heart trembled with excitement. Life re-entered, visibly, passionately, overpowering and beyond understanding its majesty.

Subhanallah! This is rasulullulah!! This is my nabi! My nabi talking to three of the heroes in human history! Ali, Zubayr and Saad!! And this is prior to Badr! Subhanallah!! Subhanallah! Allahuakbar! The questions of how I got here and the like seemed mundane as pebbles in an aquarium.

As if glimmering shadows far in the horizon, the clouds suddenly float low. I was facing more people this time. Their faces, though serious, gave tranquillity to the heart – serenity no words can describe. Faces of iman.

The pages of fiqh-u-seerah by Sheikh Muhammad Al-Ghazali were flipping in my mind as I desperately tried to recall where I was and with whom.

My mind stopped at a page and at the words Muhajriin.. and ansar.. and that at this point, the seriousness of the whole situation was uncovered.

This confrontation was bitter in taste and the gravity was beyond that which held the orbits of the planets to the sun, as the Quraysh had come in its full pride, intent on doing that action which the odes narrated and which the mounts spread to all corners. It wanted to conclude the 15 year struggle with Islam so that paganism may reign supreme.

With ultimate eloquence and words of calculation beyond what I have ever witnessed in my life, did my nabi make the people so dear and so beloved to him understand their predicament.

Their senses awakened to it and they began to examine quickly what is called for and what would be its results. The old certainty was aroused and it steered the people to take that unique step which a believer would inevitably take.

Then..

Then did the greatest man that ever lived on earth started doing something that no man of arrogance would do – he started to ask his people for consultation.

Abu Bakr then Umar stood up with confidence and iman that astounded me though I have read about it countless times, and spoke words of confidence that would spark rays of hope in any dead heart.

Then another man, stood up and said, “Ya rasulullah. Proceed to wherever Allah guides you for we are with you! Wallahi, we shall not tell you what Bani Israel told Musa: ‘Go you and your Lord and fight while we remain here seated’. But ‘Go you and your Lord and fight AND WE SHALL BE FIGHTING WITH YOU!”

Subhanallah. The words of Al-Miqdad ibn Amir, was so powerful! It rang it in my ears, in my heart! It was empowering, so empowering of the like i never thought possible!

These people. Amazing. Amazing. I was struck with awe. Awe. Awe.

I saw my nabi stealing a glance to another group of people as he said, “Advise me, O people”

Subhanallah.

He was hinting the ansaar! I realized then the ones that had previously spoken were of the muhaajirin. The majority of their, but small group, were ansaar.

I couldnt help but feel amazed at his manner. Here he is – a LEADER, who has the power to force his people, but even under the direst of situations, he still faithfully held on to the covenant he made with ansar that only covered protection within Madina.

Deep down, I could feel him desiring for them to join their saf, but his words! mashaAllah. They were full of humility. Shyness: “Advise me, O people”

A man as if sharing the same line of thoughts as I, rose and said, “Wallahi, perhaps you are referring to us, ya Rasulullah?”

My sweet nabi, smiled and affirmed.

“We have believed in you and accepted what you say. We have testified that what you have brought is the truth and on the basis of that we have give you our pledge and sworn to hear and obey you!

So proceed ya rasululullah, to do whatever you will for we are with you. By Him who sent you with the truth, if into it with you and not a single man would remain behind. We do not dislike that you should confront the enemy with us tomorrow.

We are steadfast in war, truthful in meeting. Perhaps Allah will show you something of us which will make your heart please. So proceed on the blessing of Allah!!!”

Those words. The beauty. My tears. My heart.

“Allahu akbar” my thoughts broken by the strong call as the imam makes his takbir for our first tarawikh.

My determination renewed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

berangan mode masa tgh baca buku sirah:D

death is the best of reminders..

2010-08-09T09:34:00.007+10:00

wake up. live life. sleep..

and the cycle goes on..

day after day..

months after months..

years after years..

the cycle has an end.

this morning we woke up to the news that our dearest house-mate's father just passed away.

yesterday his heart was beating.

this morning,

- it wasnt..

though i've never met my friend's father, i really felt his demise as a big loss to the world seeing how wonderful a job he did in growing his daughter.

and it made me thankful and grateful to Allah Taala for still giving a chance to tell my father this morning that i love him. ..

(31:14) and We have enjoined on man (to be good and dutiful) to his parents... - give thanks to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final destination..

May Allah grant all our parents the bestest of abode in Jannah..

Al-Fatihah..

August. Independence.

2010-08-04T07:03:00.001+10:00

Independence.

One word but embellishes one’s mind with colours of faith and hope.
One word but plays a euphonious melody to stir and wake the souls entrapped in the claws of taghut.

“Merdeka, merdeka, merdeka”-words of dignity, honour and glory ringing in our ears is the voice of Tunku Abdul Rahman with the mention of 31st August. But what is engraved in our minds with the mention of these powerful words?Is it merely the erection of edifice ? Or is it merely reflections of recognition or fame? Is it the image of wealth and commodity with ever flourishing economy?

Our ancestors have selflessly fought, suffered and died for these words. They suffered scarcity of food and ultimately braved harsh treatments to ensure the freedom of their children and grandchildren.

Freedom against taghut.
Freedom to fully practice the wonderful Deen that Allah has chosen for us.
Freedom for the souls to fully submit to the One that owns the Magnificent Arasy and all between the heavens and the earth.
Freedom that their grandchildren will, in turn, make flourish this Omnipotent Deen, spreading light to every corner of the world with hidayah, annihilating the darkness of jahiliyyah.

Because independence is when we are able to truly live to our purpose.

Though Bilal’s body was owned, but his echoes of ‘ahad, ahad’ has defied the dimensions of time, and till now can be heard.
Echoes of freedom - ultimate freedom.
Freedom of the souls to worship and submit to none but Allah Taala!Supreme independence.

Despite rejection and infinite attempts of assassination, our master, Muhammad SAW stood firm to Qauluhul Haq.. stood firm to the Words of Truth sent down by Allah. No taghut could bring him down because he had freed his soul from pleasing to taghut to pleasing Allah Tabarak Taala!Ultimate independence.

We find countless of stories of independence narrated in the most wonderful Book, Al-Quran Karim.
Though separated by time, they were united by purpose when they all said the same words. Words of ultimate freedom, “ Ya Qaumi.. Worship Allah! You have no other Ilah but Him!” (Al-A’raf:59, 65, 73, 80, 85)
Strong powerful words to free the souls of every mankind from worshipping and bowing down to the desires of their nafs. Words to free mankind from enslaving themselves to the every wish of their lust and desires.

The people of Madyan - their nafs desired wealth, so they enslaved themselves and would do anything even if it meant cheating on others.
The people of Lut –their nafs desired to practice their lusts on men instead of women, so they enslaved themselves and would go as far as tormenting and driving out the people who get in their way.
The people of Nuh, Hud, Salih.. – their nafs desired them to worship rocks. Though their nafs desired to go way beyond the boundaries of dignity and honour and comprehensibility – they obeyed.

“Mereka diperhambakan. Lalu mereka bergembira”

The words they uttered in response were baseless, empty – utterance of ignorance. Following no Book of Guidance, nor any guidance for that matter, but completely bowing down to the foolish desires of the nafs.

(7:60) The leaders of his people said:, “Verily we see you in plain error”
(7:66) The leaders of those who disbelieved said, “Verily we see you in foolishness, and verily we think you are one of the liars”
(7:76) Those who were arrogant said, “Verily we disbelieve in what you believe in”
(7:88) The leaders of those who were arrogant said, “We shall certainly drive you out, O Shu’aib, and those who have believed with you from our towns, or else you shall return to our religion”
Allahu akbar..

Islam came to free mankind from enslaving themselves from the nasty grips of deception of the nafs and taghut to submit to the One! The One Who has Created us, nourished us, sustained us, given so much to us in this life – only to give more in the hereafter!

And here we are today trying to free ourselves from this ultimate freedom, to enslave us ourselves to our nafs! To taghut! - that will, in the Day of Qiyamah, would cause nothing but eternal destruction and regret.

Brothers and sisters,
in mi’raj it was you and I.
in his tahajjud is was me and you.

every second of the life of our dear nabi was sacrificed to make sure the word of independence would free the souls of his ummah!

Our great-grandparents embraced this message full-heartedly. Once, the world’s eyes were on Malacca and was a power that was feared – for our ancestors feared no one but Allah Ta’ala. Our grandparents fought for independence to free their grandchildren from the claws of taghut so that the message of our beloved would continue to free the souls of mankind.
The last thing on their minds was that independence would ramificate jahiliyyah to creep into the souls of their grandchildren.

Pubs, rempits, never-ending stories of unwanted pregnancies – the list is endless.

Our souls have plunged deep and is much entangled in the abyss of our own wrong doings - but Ar-Rahman has shown us a way out. Sirat Al-Mustaqim.

I remind myself and i implore you, let us return to repentance, let us ask for forgiveness from Allah Ta’ala. Our iman tears for the Quran, our iman longs for tahajjud, for total submission to The One and none other.

And thus, with the echoes of “merdeka”, Allah Taala by His Grace has opened up an avenue so to free our souls – Ramadhan.

Let us make full use of our Ramadhan because Allah has said in Al-Baqarah:183 that we are required to fast so that we become Al-Muttaqun.

Taqwa.

Taqwa is the key to independence! Key to freedom! Eternal freedom!

Grab this key, and hold on tight to it.
(3:103) Hold on tight to the Rope of Allah.

Paint our Ramadhan with the vibrant colours of faith. The heart is in desperate need to hear the beautiful words of its Creator. The soul desperately longs for the night long sujud – dedicating each and every thought to the One that our souls love most.
Because independence is when we are able to truly live to our purpose.
Independence.
One word.
One purpose.

Say: Allah is One.

(Al-Ikhlas: 1-4)

stronger

2010-07-24T12:52:00.007+10:00

You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have left..

a quote i read from not the primrose path.. his last post led me to another beautiful blog onebreastbouncing..

till now i cant believe her last entry was literally her last..
a beautiful entry it was..

a beautiful blog indeed..

as i read what they have written, i catch myself thinking if i even had an ounce of strength, patience and ketabahan as they have/had..

ya Allah.. fill our hearts with the ability to endure all the beautiful plans that You have laid for us..

indeed i know them not, but my deepest gratitude to all the reminders they have given me. indeed with Allah is the best of rewards..

reminds me also of JK Rowling's beautiful and powerful commencement speech at harvard (thx leena!:) )

You'll never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have left..

Rekindling the memories

2010-07-06T10:51:00.006+10:00

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

Oh! The Places You’ll Go! (by Dr. Suess)

You’ll be on your way up!

You’ll be seeing great sights!

You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.

Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.

You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact.

And remember that Life’s a great balancing act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”

ps: used to loooveee Dr. Seusss' books but lately ive learnt to appreciate it even more so:)

adding flash to ash

2010-06-27T07:44:00.006+10:00

(13:12-13) it is He Who shows you the lightning as a fear, and as hope.. And it is He Who brings up the clouds, heavy..

And the thunder glorifies and praises Him, and so do the malaaikat because of His awe. He sends the thunderbolts, and therewith strikes whom He Wills, yet they (disbelievers) dispute about Allah. And He is Mighty in Strength and severe in punishment..

ya Allah..these creations of Yours. so eerily magnificent..

i cannot imagine your punishment in jahannam:(

(3:191) Rabbi, you have not created all this without purpose, subhanaka.. Give us the salvation from the azab of hell fire...

Gardens of faith=)

2010-06-04T11:23:00.013+10:00

After every subuh prayers, syeikh-ul islam- Ibnul Taimiyyah rahimullah will be MIA (Missing-In-Action :p) . One day, Ibnul Qayyim (one of his students) decided to follow him and found him in the deep gardens of Damascus - seeking inner strength and finding tranquility and ultimate sweetness in the rememberance of Allah Taala..

why gardens?

because in those gardens are an-najm, all that sprouts from the earth (the grass, the flowers, etc) and asy-syajar , all trees or plants that have trunks [1];

(55:6) And an-najm and asy-syajar make sujud

=)

in walking this journey of life we face ups and downs, but subhanallah that Allah has graciously prepared for us on this earth, gardens which the greens may remind us, strengthen us, helping us find peace within and casting zilaal or shades upon the path of life.

So when our faith is shaken, seek shelter beneath the tree of tauhid while reading to our hearts Allah's beautiful verse,

(14:24-25) See you not how Allah sets forth a parable? A goodly word as a goodly tree whose root is firmly fixed and its branches (reach) to the sky.
Giving fruits at all times, by the leave of Allah..

when Allah has beautified to us the tree of tauhid, its roots shall grow strong and deep within our hearts, nurtured by the light of hidayah and a perfect balance of sustenance consisting ikhlas, knowledge and ibadah - hence growing branches of amal that are regarded by Allah in high esteem and honor, so high: seemingly reaching the vast heavens.

This tree continues to bear fruits, satisfying the hunger and thirst to all who passes by- the amal of the person whom Allah has endeared faith shall benefit everyone around them..

From the shades of the tree of tauhid, shall we be enchanted with the fragrance that blends serenity and tranquility evoking strength deep within. This fragrance comes from a tree nearby, syajaratuth Tha'ah - the tree of obedience;

(48:18) Indeed Allah was pleased with the mu'min when they gave bai'ah to you (Muhammad) under the tree, He knew what was in their hearts, and He sent Sakinah (calmness, tranquility) upon them, and He rewarded them with a near victory..

It was when the muslims pledged Baiah Ar-Ridhwan to give full obedience to Allah and His Rasul under a tree did Allah grant them As-Sakinah. The tree became a witness of Allah's redha upon them.

May Allah make our syajaratuth Tha'ah as witness of His Redha on us:)

There are times when the journey of life becomes increasingly difficult, a test from Allah such to bestow upon us His Redha. Difficulties so heavy, forcing us to seek refuge under the lofty shade of Syajaratut Tirhab to find sakinah while shaking the trunk of the tree with every ounce of strength left in the soul, just like Maryam AS. Just when the world seemed to collapse on her she heard a voice that called out to her:

(19:25-26)"And shake the trunk of the date palm towards you,it will let fall fresh ripe dates upon you.. So eat and drink and be glad.." [2]

:')

Ya Allah, help us plant the trees in our gardens of faith:)

[1] Tafsir Ath-Thabari

[2] Ar-raqaiq by Muammad Ahmad Ar-Rasyid, pg 128-137

matlab oh matlab

2010-05-28T10:33:00.007+10:00

was waiting for matlab to finish running, and as usual, my hands not being able to duduk diam-diam, did its thing:p
cannot do on paper now because must save environment! hehe.
that AND i must use the paper i have to finish off my assignment:p

and i know, i know..its not exactly what can be categorized as 'art' but oh well:p
as long as my hands can scribble happily:D

nwayy, matlab has been a close friend of mine of late.
being friends with matlab can be good. as you can see, it gives me good reminders:p

but alhamdulillah ive got wonderful human housemates and friends. being friends with matlab is veryyy different from being friends with people:)

i prefer the latter:p

Fall down seven times, get up eight.

2010-05-11T17:32:00.007+10:00

The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.

When the world says, "Give up,"
Iman whispers, "Try it one more time."
and my Allah says, "if you persevere patiently and become Al-Muttaqun then verily, that will be a determining factor.." (3:186)

It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up."
~ Vince Lombardi

I just have to pick myself up and get on with it, do it all over again.. only this time - better..and pray even harder..

'Your mind is like this water my friend. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear' - Master Oogway

=)

Allahu musta'an..

subtle but significant

2010-04-05T16:24:00.005+10:00

something i got from a sheikh's lecture yesterday!=)
sgttt menarik..hehe..its a video for the christians abt how muslims are currently taking over the world!

tgk tgk tgk!

فإني مكاثر بكم الأمم يوم القيامة

... I will be proud of your great number before (other) nations on the Day of Resurrection.’

[as Reported in Nasai, Mishkat 267 kitabun nikah p. 267]

ps: kakak dentistkuu, im happyyy for youuu!! and still am=)

story of a story

2010-03-19T14:22:00.007+11:00

"We had stopped for noon prayer. As I washed my hand, face and feet from waterskin, a few drops spilled over a dried-up tuft of grass at my feet, a miserable little plant, yellow and withered and lifeless under the harsh rays of then sun.

But as the water trickled over it, a shiver went through the shrivelled blades, and I saw how they slowly, tremblingly unfolded. A few more drops, and the little blade moved, and curled and then straightened themselves slowly, hesitantly, tremblingly..

I held my breath as I poured more water over the grass tuft. It moved more quickly, more violently, as if some hidden force were pushing it out of it's dream of death..

It's blades - what a delight to behold! - contracted and expanded like the arms of a starfish, seemingly overwhelmed by a shy but irrepressible delirium, a real little orgy of sensual joy: and thus life re-entered victoriously what a moment ago has been as dead, entered it visibly, passionately overpowering and beyond understanding its majesty..

Life in its majesty...
you always feel it in the desert. Because it is so difficult to keep, as it always like a gift, a treasure, and a surprise.

When you think it in all its rigidity and emptiness, it awakens from it's dream, sends forth it breath - and tender, pale green grass stands suddenly where only yesterday there was nothing but sand and splintery pebbles..

Life in its majesty..
majesty of sparseness, always surprising: herein lies the whole nameless scent of Arabia, of sand deserts like this one, and of many other changing landscapes.."

(The Road to Mecca by Muhammad Asad)

(18:45-46) And put forward to them an example of life of this world: it is like the water which We send down from the sky, and the vegetation of the earth mingles with it. But later it becomes dry and broken pieces, which the wind scatter. And Allah is able to do everything..

Wealth and children are the adornment of life of this world. But the righteous good deeds that last, is better with your Rabb for rewards and better in respect of hope..

The hidayah from Allah to be muslims and to practice Islam is as of the water that revives the dead tuft.. May Allah grant us the hidayah and mercy for us to do good deeds despite circumstances.. Today it may seem as it seems that the ummah has nothing, but may Allah grant us from His Mercy for us to do good deeds so that we shall return to Him in His Redha and have everything...

hujan batu di negeri orang (?)

2010-03-07T19:09:00.021+11:00

it hailed yesterday right here in Melbourne!

hmm, so would it be 'hujan batu di negeri orang'? because aussie graciously granted me an australian citizenship for 19 years, so maybe it shud be 'hujan batu di negeri sendiri'! *buat2 confuse* hehe.. penat je JPA anta pergi btn dulu..

but nwayy, my point is, IT HAILED!! and it was subhanallah sooo amazing!!

so, my girlfriends and i were walking along La Trobe St after our zuhr prayers. It was very warm but we could see the dark clouds moving in fast, when in a split second, out of nowhere it started to rain ICE!!

sakiit!!!O_o

so we seeked shelter at an abandoned entrance of a shop and sort of glued ourselves to the glass because the ice were bouncing everywhere as soon as it hit the road - together with this elderly couple.

the woman turned to me and said, "its never even been like this in the UK! oh god!! look at thattt!! its a wedding car!!!" (didnt manage to get that on camera though)..

and the only respond i could give was "oh my god" because my brain cells were occupied with the possibility this red car's windscreen, at any time, to undergo microscopic failure via crack propagation initiated by the ice that had high gravitational potential energy during its free fall!

this-and i was sooo amazed with the ice! (hehe.yes. i think my brain was very busy that moment)

they were soooo beautiful! they all had a solid white er, element (?) in the middle, but had different amazing shapes of crystals on the outside!

(disclaimer: this is my friend's hands. her name starts with i and ends with g)

see! see!! arent they pretty?

shoud've seen them 'live'!! these pix dont do justice at all! they were beautiful!!!

subhanallah, subhanallah..we couldnt stop praising Allah Taala for giving us the opportunity to see all this! and to feel it too! (because it was starting to get really cold=p)

it hailed for a few minutes, then it rained so heavily, that within minutes, the roads were flooded (these are from iqah's lenses!)

Subhanallah. Subhanallah. Subhanallah..

Despite the coldness and drenchness, we felt overwhelmingly blessed! should've seen us 3 stooges grinning from ear to ear as we pursued the rain=p

Alhamdulillah we were very near a shelter then. a lot of my friends were apparently out in the open - hence bruised and bumped by the stones..

rain..

a dead land is revived with greens when it rains..

(18:45) like the water (rain) which We send down from the sky, and the vegetation of the earth mingles with it..

With rain did Allah give the muslims battling in Badr means (8:11) .. to strengthen your hearts, and make your feet firm thereby..

but indeed, the soul fact that Allah has measured, and guided (87:1-4) the rain is a great blessing..

because if the rain did not come down in due measurement, and Allah (54:11) ..opened the gates of the heavens with water pouring forth.. then indeed, that was what happened to the people of Nuh..

if everytime it rained, it rained stones like yesterday, then ya Allah.. seksanyaaaaa bila hujan=(

Subhanallah, indeed ya Allah, you are Ar-Rahman.. Most Gracious..

All praises to you, ya Allah Who created and perfected..

Subhanallah.. subhanallah..

ya Allah, Most Gracious are you, Most Merciful are you..

Allahuakbar=)=)=)

because sharing is caring

2010-02-15T09:04:00.014+11:00

it'd be extremely evil of me if i did not share this=)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every Friday afternoon, after the Jumma services at the Central Mosque (and shortly after Al-Usrah program), the Imam and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out "PATH TO PARADISE" and other Islamic literature.

This particular and fortunate Friday afternoon, as the time came for the Imam and his son to go to the streets with their booklets, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring rain.

The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, 'OK, dad, I'm ready!'

His 'Mu’allim' dad asked, 'Ready for what?'

'Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out.'

Dad responds, 'Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring rain.'

The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, 'But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?'

Dad answers, 'Son, I am not going out in this weather.'

Despondently, the boy asks, 'Dad, can I go? Please?'

His father hesitated for a moment then said, 'Son, you can go. Here are the booklets. Be careful son.'

'Thanks, Dad!'

And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a pamphlet or a booklet.

After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST BOOKLET. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a booklet to, but the streets were totally deserted.

Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered..

He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.

Finally, this eleven year old da'wah-expert turned to leave, but something stopped him.

Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch!

He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.

Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, 'What can I do for you, son?' With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that “ALLAH REALLY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU” and I came to give you my very last booklet which will tell you all about God, the real purpose of creation, and how to achieve His pleasure.'

With that, he handed her his last booklet and turned to leave..

She called to him as he departed. 'Thank you, son! And God Bless You!'

Well, the following Friday afternoon after Jumat service (during which period they hold a weekly program, Al-Usrah) the Imam was giving some lectures. As he concludes the lectures, he asked, 'Does anybody have questions or want to say anything?'

Slowly, in the back row among the ladies, an elderly voice was heard over the speaker. As the voice went on, a hint of glorious gaiety and contentment was plainly evident in it even though it wasn't to be seen, 'No one in this gathering knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Friday I was not a Muslim, and thought I could be. My husband passed away some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Friday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live.

So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and broken-hearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away……

I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly...... ......

I thought to myself again, 'Who on earth could this be? Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me.' I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder.

When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, 'Ma'am, I just came to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU!'

Then he gave me this booklet, “Path To Paradise” that I now hold in my hand.

As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this book. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them anymore.

You see? I am now a Happy Vicegerent of the One True God. Since the address of your congregation was stamped on the back of this booklet, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in Hell.'

There was not a dry eye in the mosque. And as shouts of TAKBIR!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!! rented the air, even among the ladies.

Imam-Dad descended from the pulpit to the front row where the little angel was seated....

He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

Probably no jama'at has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love and honor for his son....... Except for One. This very one... Blessed are your eyes for reading this message.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

some acts may seem small, but insyaAllah if the intention is truly for Allah Taala, He may make the outcome unfathomably significant..

dont understimate the wearing of our hijab, the adherence to our prayer times..our fasting for Allah..

kind words etc, etc..

if Allah wills, it'd touch the hearts of others.

so let us hold on tight to the teachings of our Allah=)

QLC: quarter life crisis

2010-01-27T09:56:00.013+11:00

which flower in the bouquet do you like best?=)
--------------------------------------------------------------

we are required to make decisions every day in life.

what time should i wake up? what should i wear today? where do i want to fill my car's fuel this morning? etc etc..

but at some points in life, we're required to make decisions in which the repercussions are beyond us..and will change the course of our entire life ahead..

quarter life crisis - psychologists call it..

Looking at our job an thinking it's not even close to what we thought we would be doing.. or maybe we're looking for one and realized that we're going to have to start from the bottom. Suddenly we miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. We start to worry about the future..who are we going to marry? if there's no one on mind, when will we get married? if we've someone on mind, is he/she the right one? if married, then theres this financial rooted-stress and the perpetual question, will it then affect the children? there's this feeling that everyone is doing better than us.. questions of where are we heading in life?

(and the list goes on..)

ubiquitous as much as it is intangible..Unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion..

whatever it is, in this phase of life, theres this sense of unsettling insecurity and well.. its just overwhelming..

i mean, how do you decide on something that's seemingly larger than life, but not have any knowledge of whats going to happen if you do choose?
or not choose for that matter..

there must be about a gazillion of possibilities from each option we have..

certainly the future is not for us to see..

so alhamdulillah, i am ever grateful to my Allah that at this point of time, i am a muslim (and my prayers that He makes us all muslims till the end)..because my Allah holds the key of the unseen..He has all knowledge of the past, present
..and the future..

the power of trust when reliance is totally in Allah is so beautiful and itself a strength..

the story of Nabi Musa AS comes to mind.. when the whole army of Firaun was approaching, death seemingly getting nearer by the second..and all the people with Nabi Musa losing faith in him, demotivingly saying that they'll be caught for sure.. calmly Musa AS said,

(26:62).."Nay, verily with me is my Rabb. He will SURELY guide me"

THAT was when Allah revealed for Musa AS to strike the sea with his stick. And Allah gave him a way out, a solution, beyond our minds..

the power of reliance in Allah. the power of tawakaltu alallah=)

so if there's any worry or fear, drop everything take wudhu' and make solat..
its good for the heart=)
and the peace of mind..
no kidding=)

----------------------------------------------------
and so, i chose that red rose from all the other flowers..

why?

i cant really explain,
but may it be a choice guided by Allah Taala=)

may all our decisions be decisions guided by Allah Taala..

weddings:)

2009-12-27T09:54:00.016+11:00

(2:187) they (your wives) are garments for you and you are garments for them

garments are not held together by a few big knots but by thousand little stitches of thread..
it is not the large amount in the hantaran but it is the accumulation of small words and little acts each day that make up this garment..

the point of a garment is to provide warmth, protection and decency..
any scar or imperfection of any form on the body is kept hidden beneath the garment.

marriage will reveal one's true colours-like that imperfection on the body- but may the faith in Him keep our hearts strong to continue stitching and embroidering beautiful words and acts despite circumstances.

there's a part of my friend's nikah khutbah that I found really interesting. the imam told us that the arabic word used to describe spouse is 'zauj' and it lexically implies one of the pair as in - like say gloves - there is always a left and a right. different: the left is not the same as the right, but when paired - it will be more useful. or to accentuate the importance, like the wings of a bird. it may take some time for the left and right wings to synchronize-after all the baby bird can not fly upon birth- but once they are able to, it'd make the bird soar high up in the sky=)

marriage will reveal our differences.
our taste in clothes or food, or even the way we use our time - everything that our spouses do will affect us.
the garment he/she may be stitching for us may not be to our preference, hence, may Allah give the ability to be true to each other such such to taylor garments according to both sides' liking..

two heads are better than one - an emphasis of the value of asking for opinions and the power of discussion in generating creative solutions with a partner who may support and complement our skills and understanding.

(2:187) they are garments for you and you are garments for them =)

to my dearest friends who have/will get married especially to my most dearest ieja, syaheed, mardhiyyah pauzii, nur faiz, mazura mamat, paan, nadiah wahid, linda ismail, mukerq, k.nik, k.mel, pushieee, izza id, zarith helina lynn, buyekk (oh dear.. terlalu ramai if nak list kan=p)...

BarakAllahu laka, wa baraka 'alayk, wa-jama'a baynakuma fi-khair
May Allaah bless for you (your spouse) and bless you, and may He unite both of you in goodness.

owhh, and to those who have/will get engaged! (especially org yg tunang on the 26th, 27th dec and 1st jan 2010) may Allah make ease all that is best for you deen!
=)

and to those very fortunate guys who are marrying my wonderful friends, make sure you take good care of them!=)

Abu Hurairah (radhiallâhu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (sallallâhu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: “Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (Tirmidhi 278, 628, 3264 and Abu Dawud)

know.ledge

2009-11-18T09:33:00.006+11:00

"Intermediate sequences increase the detection of homology beween sequences"

while my eyes seemingly try to burn holes through this journal paper, my thoughts are elsewhere..

This! comes into mind!!!

hehe..i know, i know... its got nothin to do with homology or sequencing.. but anyhow, this was the first picture shown in our fluid mechanics 2 class back in 3rd year..

Notice the diamonds coming out from the exhaust plume of the SR-71?
=)

its called shock diamonds!

and its produced by overexpansion and compression of flow as it exits the nozzle at supersonic speed at high pressure difference..

or something to that effect..

it took us a whole semester to study this phenomenon. but subhanallah, to study flight is one thing, but to study the phenomenon due to flight is another..

a colleague of mine gave his phd completion presentation yesterday on tryin to detect and control separation point on airfoils - which involved supercomputers and not to mention 4 years of his life. Even so, he was limited to study the flow at only 3-4 different Reynold numbers. Not to mention the parallel codes and the complicated grid transformations he had to do.. Ok.. Ill stop the jargons now=)

but, it makes me think, subhanallah..the vastness of Allah's knowledge is just amazing.. now, here I am studying DNA sequencing and subhanallah, subhanallah..many times in lecture i just flop at the amazingness of Allah's intricate and amazing design..

though its different from mach shocks, but the overwhelming feeling from the amazingness is somewhat similar.. its just mind-boggling and astounding that it makes you take a step back and in the struggle to find words, your heart overpowers the brain and the only words you can say is

Subhanallah...

Subhanallah..

Reminds me of the words of Khidr to Nabi Musa in hadith Bukhari, a commentary in surah al-Kahf, "that the knowledge we have compared to Allah is like that of a bird that sips water from the ocean.."

To be given the opportunity to learn, to study is indeed a blessing from Allah Taala..

(96:5) He has taught men that which he knew not..

May the knowlege that Allah has blessed us with make us means to submit and humble our hearts to the realization of His Greatness..

(3:191) ... and think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying) "Our Rabb, You have not created all this without purpose, Subhanaka! (glory toYou). Give us the salvation from the torment of Fire.."

and not make our hearts hard with arrogance like Qarun when,
(28:78) he said, "This (his wealth) has been given only because of the knowledge i possess.."

ok.. back to my sequencing paper=)

monotonicity

2009-11-02T12:09:00.004+11:00

in front of my house there is a church.
on our right there is a pub.

on sunday mornings the church bell keeps ringing so that people would come for prayers. I see people dressed to the nines from my window. They even bring children.
At night time, the pub will cause a lot of people to talk weirdly as they pass my window.
There will be no one at the church.

i just moved office. i am now in what used to be the boat room. its called boat room because there are lots of boats hanging from the ceiling.

Maybe its there to remind me that life is like sailing in a boat. Sometimes when things go wrong-when the engines not working- the boat has no option but to sail with the wind and the waves. Whichever way the wind blows- there it sails. Whatever conditions Allah puts us in, there we will be. Sometimes we arent able to change the situation, but we can change how we react towards it.

I think the boats are there to remind me i should put my trust in Allah, regardless.

Our computers arent yet networked. there is in fact no network. so i cannot use the programmes and softwares that i must use.

Networking is very important.

Uni is quiet today. Maybe because it is SWOT VAC. I still have lectures on wednesday and thursday. But maybe its quiet because tomorrow is Melbourne Cup.

My code is misbehaving. Maybe it doesnt like me working on it too much. But it has to understand that I have to! How do we make something understand? or someone for that matter?

Aaah. the boats hanging from the ceiling.

My roses are starting to wilt. My friend told me last sunday, everything in this world will die. Even the cells she's been working on in her lab. The same to my dear roses i guess. I pressed the daisy though. I wanted to preserve it. It is pressed in my big huge Kreyzig Engineering Maths book. Preserved like the body of pharoah.

Oh. Thats scary.

f.l.o.w.e.r.s =)

2009-10-25T19:21:00.008+11:00

i love flowers!=)

and today my girlfriends gave me a beeeautiful bunch of red roses and a red gerbera daisy!!=)

friendship is like flowers in the garden of life..

im not sure why i remember this quote-given to me almost 10 years ago.. but anyhow,thank you thank you thank you!!!=)

(8:62-63) ...He it is Who has supported you with His Help and with the mu'min..

And He has united their hearts.. If you had spent all that is in earth, you could have not united their hearts, but Allah has united them

friends are indeed a blessing from Allah Taala..

its amazing how the gift of a friend's simple smile (and flowers=D ) can boost our spirits=)

this harsh and splendid land..
with snow-covered rock mountains, cold-crystal streams..
deep forests of cypress, juniper and ash..
is as much my body as what you see before you here..
i cannot be separated from this or from you..
our many hearts have only a single beat
- The warrior song of King Gezar

Minaret

2009-10-06T14:08:00.006+11:00

The mercy and forgiveness of Allah Taala is like the vast sea.
Our sins is akin to a lump of clay between a pigeons beak.
The pigeon is perched on a branch at the edge of the sea.
All the pigeon needs to do is open its beak

-Minaret by Leila Aboulela-

tawakkal

2009-09-18T14:52:00.006+10:00

"Chikara"

Meaning: strength; force; might; efforts; resources; capacity; talent.


Symbology: inner strength and intensity of love / the essence of true
strength that comes from within.

strength from within is when our reliance is totally upon Allah..

tawakkal..
tawakkal..

putting trust in Allah..
total trust..
because Allah loves those who put trust in Him..
and there's no One better than Him for us to put our utmost trust..

at what seems to be our lowest point in life, or one of the lowest..
when getting up after a dreadful fall just doesn't seem possible anymore..
the pain - excruciating..
the humiliation..

but its that trust upon our dear Allah that will provide this surge of warmth
and strength to get up, and continue the journey of life..

ya Allah..You are indeed my strength..
=')

Jannah

2009-09-06T15:08:00.006+10:00

Salam=)

ya Allah, accept from us our amal throughout this blessed Ramadhan ya Allah Most Gracious, Asy-Syakur..
and do grant us forgiveness, ya Rabb..

just came back from taalim and i just have to share this beautiful hadith.

i cant remember the exact words;
but in essence my dear friends, our dear nabi sent his salam to you and I - his ummah.. and he wants us to know that the water in paradise is indeed delightful and that the soil in jannah is subur..

hence, rasulullah pesan, tanamlah di dalam jannahmu tanaman2 zikir - lahawlawala quwwata illa billah.. ada riwayat that says, subhanallah walhamdulillah..lailahaillalah..

telah angau skejap during the halaqah (hehe..) that Allah Taala has given us each a jannah, or a garden, and it is up to us to choose what plants we yearn to reap..

so what plants do you want to see when you enter your jannah?=)

Rabbana aatina fiddunya hasanah..wafil aakhirati hasanah..waqina azabannar..
ya Rabb, grant us good in this dunya, grant us good in akhirah, and save us from the azab of the Fire=(

(24:24-25) ..a goodly word as a goodly tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches (reach) to the sky.. Giving its fruit at all times by the leave of your Lord..

(24:26) and the parable of an evil word is that of an evil tree uprooted from the surface of the earth.. having no stability..

(2:261) The likeness of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is as the likeness of a grain, it grows 7 ears, and each ear has a hundred grains - Allah gives manifold increase to whom he wants..

let us plant the most beautiful trees in our jannah by doing zikir, saying good words, inviting hearts to return to Allah Taala, and by spending in the way of Allah=)

may Allah by His Sifat, Asy-Syakur -multiply our reward=)

drunk but sober

2009-08-22T22:56:00.016+10:00

Ramadhann!!=)=)

Alhamdulillah ala kulli.. Thank You Allah for letting us once again experience the beauty of Ramadhan=)

May Allah grant us all the sweetness in reading Quran, and doing solat and mulitply the rewards for all our ibadah=) aminn!!

Yesterday, my dear friend, zahra and I were walking from my house to Melbourne Uni's musalla for tarawih prayers..

As we were walking, a drunk lady came up to us. There's something about drunk people . It can be scary at times, and I would be lying if I said i didnt feel that way then.

"Excuse me!! excuse me!! (in a relatively mabuk but polite manner) "im sorry for being ignorant, but can I ask you something? You know its Ramadhan right?? so do you guys not eat during the day or the night?"

Smiling (while eyeing cautiously at her green bottle-just in case in her inebriation decides that we'd make good bottle smashers), "owh, we dont eat during the day. but night's fine.."

"owhh..thats beautiful..thats great.. yeah.. i pray too.."

"owh really? where do you pray?" (was racking my brain to keep her talking - still slightly worried at the sight of the bottle)

"i pray anywhere.." - while showing her forehead. I wasnt sure what that meant - maybe she's seen muslims sujud in their prayers.. or maybe thats how she finds solace while praying.. Allah knows best..

i was like, "yupp yupp..its really important to pray.. because thats when we find peace of mind"
she was already standing quite near, but alhamdulilah i wasnt worried anymore..

"yeahh" (in a very aussie accent).. "its really important to go back to God..remember Him"

we talked a bit more before we said our goodbyes.
subhanallah..i pity her. tho her mind may not be totally sober at that point of time, her heart was.. and i make doa may Allah give her guidance..

anyway, just thot of sharing with you my first few moments of the glorious Ramadhan..

subhanallah, nothing, and i mean NOTHING can beat the bestest nikmat of Allah SWT - the gift of Islam..let us NEVER NEVER EVER take this for granted.. jangan sgt sgt..

ya Allah, make us the source of hidayah for others.. make our Ramadhan better than before..ya Allah, grant us forgiveness and taqwa..

Father and son

2009-08-20T07:14:00.005+10:00

A father came home one evening.. tired, stressed - drained from spending the whole day at work, he opened the door of his house to be welcomed by his son..

"Father! how much do you get per hour?" his son asked.

The father could feel his face grow hot.."I get $20 an hour but its none of your business! Why are you asking me this??" Annoyed and irritated by his son, he could feel his temper rising..

"Owh.." the boy's face fell.. "Father, can I ask you for $10 then?Please?"

"WHAT??you actually WANT money?? thats why you're asking? I work all day and now you ask me for money to buy some silly toy and such??? GO UP TO YOUR ROOM!" he roared.

As night dwelled, guilt started to creep in the conscience of the father.. "Maybe i was too harsh to my boy" he whispered to himself..

So he slowly stood and walked to his son's room..

"Are you asleep?"
"No..Not yet dad.."

The father sat on his bed and sad, "Im sorry..Ive been having a bad week at work and I vent out my frustration to you..Here's the $10 you asked for..Tell me, why do you want this money?"

Elated, the son took the $10 note with his right hand and lifted his pillow with his left.. There were crumpled notes under the pillow..

As his son counted the notes, he started to feel his temper rising again, "you already have money!!!! why did you ask for more?? why are you being soo selfish??"

"Dad.. I havent eaten with you for ages..I havent been able to even see you much at home.. I thought if I had $20, then I can buy 1 hour of your time so that we can have dinner together.."

That was enough to bring the father's eyes to tears.
----------------------------------------------------------

$20 an hour is already sufficient to make us soo engrossed with work. Enough to ooze out all the dedication and determination as well as persistence that we have within ourselves..

each second, Allah pays us with the beat of the heart, sight, hearing and the list is endless..

if Allah takes back the nikmat of breathing for merely 2 minutes, at that point, we would be willing to give all ALL that we have, ALL that we have accumulated to get our breath back..

but yet we become so kedekut to spend time with Allah-berkira sgt..where's that determination? wheres that dedication? - when He pays us more than all the billionaires in the world put together..

Let us return to Allah SWT.. make dua, make taubat...

..dan kami meminta kecintaan kepadaMu, cinta kepada yg Kau cintai, dan cinta
kepada amal-amal yg mendekati kami kepada kecintaan kepadaMu...

Subhanallah...Exalted are You, my Allah..
Ya Allah forgive us..and grant us all hidayah from You.

ya Allah make us not among the mujrim which you have described DESIRING to ransom himself by, (70:11-15) his children, his wife and his brother.. his kindred who sheltered him AND ALL that are in the earth, so that it may save him!

mashaAllah.. the desperation exuded from the verse.. Alhamdulillah you are giving us the opportunity to still make taubat and seek for Your Pleasure..

Ramadhan kareem=) May Allah give us all the goodness He can give to a person this Ramadhan!! tak sabar tunggu tarawih esokk!!=)=)=) *heart whoops*

randomnization

2009-07-10T16:26:00.008+10:00

Salam=)

just finished my consultation with my supervisor..
things are starting to not go the way we thought it would..
but i guess thats research
=)

alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..
im grateful that we know what the root of the problem is,
and now in attempt to fully grasp and understand the nature of the problem, before we can proceed..

ya Allah, grant us understanding of Your Knowledge..
=)

if there's one thing ive learnt throughout my academic life (especially my undergrad) is that understanding the root of the problem is extremelyyyy important.. hehe.. being the me I am, of course i had to learn this the hard way=p
many a times did I end up facing larger problems due to incomplete comprehension..

just like life.

the way to deal with AIDS from spreading is not by providing boxes in public toilets to dispose their syringes, but to understand that the root of the problem is the iman in the heart.

its interesting how the sahabah could give up alcohol, something so intricately interwoven in their lives, when they embraced Islam and Allah made iman enter their hearts.

May Allah grant us imanan kaamila..
May Allah grant us all goodness herein and hereafter
=)

ps: i miss afnan and umi and ayah=(
pps: i miss my fightersz as well=(
ppps: wannyy's coming to melbourne sooon!!!=)

atok..

2009-06-12T16:52:00.006+10:00

(15:23) Dan sungguh, Kamilah yang menghidupkan dan mematikan dan Kami (pulalah) yang mewarisi..

dear Allah,
Thank You for giving me a wonderful grandfather..
I couldnt have asked for more..

the night my dad called me to relate his demise,
i opened the quran, making prayer to Allah to strengthen me with His Words..
Allah Taala guided my hands to open to this beautiful verse:

(13:23) (iaitu) syurga Adn, mereka masuk ke dalam nya bersama dengan org yang saleh dari nenek moyangnya, pasangannya, dan anak cucunya...

ya Allah..indeed You have been ever dear to me..

may the return of atok to You be in a state of Your Redha..
ya Ghafur, grant him forgiveness from You..
ya Rahim, have mercy on him and grant him jannah..

Al-Fatihah..

choices

2009-06-05T21:18:00.002+10:00

Kisah Yusuf Alaihissalam..

between zulaikha and being thrown in the well,
which of the 2 tests is greater?

a commentary on sura Yusuf by Amru khalid,
the test of him facing zulaikha was greater as he was facing his own nafs,
and on top of that, he had a choice..

whereas, he did not have a choice when he was thrown in a well..

subhanallah..
choices laid out in front of us, are tests..

tests to see which of us are grateful to Allah SWT..
and which of us will be best in deeds..

Allah knows best..

hilang suara

2009-05-22T01:05:00.007+10:00

i just came back from my tafsir class tonight.

sitting beside me this evening were 5 new girls clad in the same black hijab and dark red abaya. apparently our ustaz has his own madrasah, and these girls were actually his students..

i started to talk to the girl right beside me, when the girl next to her said to me,

"akak.. dia hilang suara.."

i went, "oh ye ke..macamana boleh hilang?"

"dia baca quran.."

subhanallah..

baca quran sampai hilang suara?

i envy her. i do, i really do.
to feel such sweetness, to get soo addicted to the Words of All-Mighty Allah to that extent..
subhanallah. how i yearn to feel the same..

ya Allah, make the quran the spring of our hearts,
the banisher of our sadness..
and the reliever of our distress..

afnan and his personal tutors

2009-05-12T14:30:00.006+10:00

afnan's having his exams esok.
BM and agama paper.
my mom and I yg stress..
hehe

me: Afnan, who is Ummu Aiman to Muhammad?
afnan:his babysitter! his.. em, peng..penga..pe..
me (in my mind): he's gettin it!! alhamdulilah!! yayy! (after having him repeat the word 'pengasuh' several times)
afnan: pegantin?
me: +_+

me: Apakah kemahiran yang Muhammad dapat di desa Bani Saad?
afnan: em..meng..mengem..mengembala masyarakat??

=/

me: Apakah 5 perkara membatalkan wudhu'?
afnan: em..mengeluarkan qubul dan dubur
@_@

umi: apakah rukun Islam?
afnan: 2 kalimah shahadah, solat, puasa.. zza..zzii..zzzzzzz..em.. z..

my mom had to make him say the word 'zakat' 50 times..

Teringat kata2 Nabi Yaakub dalam sura Yusuf bila berdepan dengan anak2 nya, "fasabruun jamiil"

kemudian bersabar lah dengan sabar yang cantik =)

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..

2009-05-09T12:55:00.012+10:00

oh dear.

i was installing linux very very late last night and i think i wiped vista off my laptop
=/

I had a premonition this'd happen..
lesson learnt, dont do things that might have significant impact on your future when ur sleepy +_+

it was only this morning, in a fresher state of mind, did it hit me i shud've installed linux in my virtual pc instead of trying to double-boot-it'd be simpler for me to handle my files and do my matlab stuff, being able to work between both vista and ubuntu at the same time..and that in my sleepiness, i didnt partition the disc properly=/

but anyway, isnt sleep amazing?
i mean, at the end of each day, our minds our body everything - is in this weary state. tired, exhausted.heading for fatigue failure due to cyclic stresses throughout the day =p

*waja'alnaa naumakum subataa (An-naba')
And We have made sleep for you, to rest

and subhanallah, by Allah's Grace and Mercy, when we wake up we're in this totally opposite condition=) all fresh and ready to start the dayyy!!=)=)

*fabiayyii alaai rabbikuma tukadh'ibaan (Ar-Rahman)
and which of the favours of your Rabb do you deny=)

terlalu byk nikmat Allah pada kita, kan..
ya Allah jadikan lah kami hamba yang bersyukur..

alhamdulillah ala kulli hal ^_^

mencari ketenangan hati

2009-04-26T19:24:00.005+10:00

ever had those moments?
when ur heart and mind is bursting with a million and one feelings..
compelled to talk to someone, but the words- so difficult to string together..

so you choose to walk to the nearest washroom..
take wudhu..

and do 2 rakaat of prayers..

a conversation so intimate with the One who created this very heart..
Who understands your very feeling..
every single one..
Seseorang hamba paling dekat dengan Tuhannya ketika dalam sujudnya..
tears of joy..of happiness..
tears of maybe minute dissapointment..
tears of hope..
tears, begging to be led, to be guided..
because at that very moment, the soul's lost.. and hungry for light..

at the end of your prayer, you give salam..
"assalamualaikum warahmatullah"

then there's that surge of peace..
of relief..

you fold that sejadah knowing you just had the best conversation EVER..
=)

i love You, Allah..
thank You for teaching me how to pray=)

by the moon

2009-04-20T09:57:00.011+10:00

(Al-Muddatthir, 74:22-24)
Nay! By the moon
And by the night when it withdraws
And by the dawn when it brightens

For a minute, let us clear our minds and imagine this beautiful image Allah has painted in the aforementioned verses.

The overwhelming beauty of the full moon, as it embellishes the darkest of nights.. though not pleading to be awed, it's inexplicable splendour is marvelled by all eyes that lay upon it - the hearts mesmerized hence its inscription in millions of poems, writings and masterpieces throughout time.

slowly the thick night gives way to dawn, – as if curtains withdrawn to reveal - to reveal something of much spectacular in creation, in beauty..a thread of light – whispering 1001 secrets to the heart, impelling a million and one feelings into the soul – before it strengthens in radiance, illuminating the day..

The thick darkness of the night, like the heart when engrossed with ignorance and evil – forgetting our purpose of creation.. forgetting that one day we shall return to our creator..

Nay! By the moon! – in the darkest of nights did Allah’s beautiful reminder come, shining as bright as the full moon in the middle of the night, a reminder to His beloved creations so that He may enter us into His Jannah where we may be well-pleased. Open the Quran, and you will find its beauty enthralling! the hearts of those who believe will just melt in awe due to its magnificence and exquisiteness.. look at His Messenger SAW! His examples, subhanallah..

And by the night when it withdraws, And by the dawn as it brightens - for those who withdraw from disobedience, accepts His Reminder, then Allah will indeed guide them.. And there is nothing that can be compared to Allah’s Guidance, for it is as true and as strong as the light that illuminates the day..

Like the great sahaba, Umar Al-Khattab RA. Darkness - before Islam came to him. But Subhanallah, how strong he stood when he embraced iman – his attributes and his stories, luminous till this very day.

Not later. Not tomorrow. Let us embrace Allah’s reminder now.
Before its too late.

(91:9-10) Indeed he succeeds who purifies himself
And indeed he fails who corrupts his own self

2 sides of a coin

2009-04-02T18:38:00.013+11:00

There's this saying by Publilius Syrus (~100BC),

"a rolling stone gathers no moss"

The first time i came across it, i thought it meant - if you keep yourself busy, keep your mind working - your brain wont grow mushrooms, or deplete - or something to that extent.

But the intended meaning is actually; a person who is always on the move, and not able to stay at one place for long enough will not be able to make much friends.

2 sides of a coin.
Our perspective of things really are dependent on how we look at it and are often influenced by our experience and surroundings.

i guess in this case, the fact that im mengaggur-ing, and in need to keep myself busy; and my negativity towards moss, kulats and anything of its brethren has influenced me to interpret the aforementioned maxim as such=)

difference in thoughts, in perceptions are common.
there's gazillion ways to look at a single thing..

hence, let us ask Allah that He grants us Hidayah upon looking at things the ways He wants us to..

while some perceive hijab as a form of liberation, others think it is opression.
while some feel sujud is a beautiful form of submission, others think that it is degrading.

it is all a matter of opinion.
hence, neraca apa yg kita guna untuk menilai sesuatu?

Biarlah fikiran, perbuatan, segala dalam hati dan amal kita menggunakan neraca Allah.
let us sungguh-sungguh mohon sangat sangat pada Allah Taala that He gives us the ability to judge between right and wrong; Furqan.. and act upon it..

(8:29) O you who believe! If you obey and fear Allah, He will grant you Furqan, and will expiate for you your sins, and forgive you.. and Allah is Owner of Great Bounty..

Kejayaan sebenar hanyalah dalam ketaqwaan kita pada Allah, ketaatan pada rasulNya dan keberadaan kita dalam syariatNya.

tribute to ayah=)

2009-04-01T13:36:00.015+11:00

i was dissecting my mom's thesis which she wrote 18 years ago; when i came across her acknolwedgement bit

"A special note of thanks to Fatimah, Huseyn Ali and Askaree, my three children who, albeit grudgingly, let mum get on with her work (most of the times)..."

=)=)=)
heee..we love you too, umi!!=)

"Last but not least, to my husband Dzahar who has been tremendously patient and supportive throughout these years, Jazakallah-khair. In the end, it would all not have been possible without him.."

today is ayah's birthday.
i wanted to give him something so badly, but i personally didnt know what. there's nothing in this worldly world that can ever add up to all that he has done for us.

afnan didnt have that problem nontheless..as a gift to my dad - he memorized sifir 5=)

i remembered the conversation i had with ayah once in the car. i was telling him about my interest in persuing postgrad, and he was totally happy, told me how much he loved research, and loved his job in melbourne back then.

"but then you decided to come back to malaysia?" i asked my dad.
and he simply said along the lines of, "well, i had to make sure my kids get good islamic education.." (his kids back then were showing signs of extreme naughtiness, which was maybe rather disturbing=p)

i think my father always had this ability to motivate me-in his own very very special way.. we always always had this little competetive thing going on..

i remembered someone asked me back in intec, "why did you choose melbourne university?"
it didnt take me long to answer. all this while my dad always said that melbourne uni suka eksyen and that MU called his uni, 'the university down the road'
so from that day on, i just knew i had to go Melb uni.
=)

(huhu..mungkin kah masih belum terlambat utk betulkan niat?=p)

just before he went off to work this morning, i looked at him.
there was so much in the heart. all that he's done. all that he has sacrificed..
felt as if my heart was ready to explode..
but, all i could say was a lame, "happy birthday, ayah"
shouldve seen his face. he was so happy. i felt like crying.

(14:40) Rabbana, cover (us) with Thy forgiveness - me, my parents and all the believers, on the day that the Reckoning will be established.

ya Allah, love my parents more than they ever loved me.. bestow upon the mercy from You..and i beg you to grant them all the goodness herein and hereafter..

only Allah can reward you, ayah..
Happy birthday..

yakin diri

2009-03-31T16:20:00.002+11:00

afnan came home from school the other day
and happily rambling about his day to my mom when he asked,

"umi! the teacher told me that i can do it and that i must
have yakin diri..em, whats yakin diri?"

oh adikku..
menariknya soalan itu..

man 'arafa nafsahu faqad 'arafa Rabbahu (hadith)
Whosoever knows himself knows his Lord.

Rasya. Rose. of Hope.

2009-03-27T12:20:00.011+11:00

ever heard the name Obama?

imagine meeting up with his wife, Michelle..

the meet with Rasya Al-Adluni yesterday evening?

was gazillion times better than all the presidents' wives in the whole wide world put together!

Rasya is the wife of Dr. Abdul Aziz Rantissi Rahimahullahi alaih, president of Hamas, till he was bombed by Apache on the 17th April 2004..

he was a doctor - a children's specialist, memorized the quran dan rindukan syahid di jalan Allah. he feared no one but Allah Taala. while imprisoned in Kaffar Yunah with his teacher, Syeikh Ahmad Yassin, he took the opportunity to do muraja'ah (reiteration of) Al-Quran in which he had memorized, as if a preparation period bestowed upon him by Allah Taala, before he recieved the amanah in Hamas on the 22nd March 2004. (please read more on him.. this summary does NOT at all do justice)

Subhanallah.

The moment Rasya walked in the room, there was this aura.. nur..

i cant quite describe, but i felt soo drawn to her..

and the moment she spoke.. her words.. subhanallah..

imagine, in 23 days - 1400 palestians lose their lives.. the incessant bombs fallin like rain.. the horrors, the terrors of tanks and weapons; which are banned in the rest of the world..

and what does she say?

"Alhamdulillah! alhamdulillah.. segala puji bagi Allah kerana
memberi kemenangan pada Gaza..
kerana kemenangan itu adalah keberadaan di
atas syariat Allah.
Alhamdulillah, kerana Allah memberi kekuatan dan
kesabaran kepada muslim Palestin.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.."

again and again, she was praising Allah Taala..

and again and again, she was thanking the muslims around the world.. for the dua, for all the efforts - everything.. its because of their dua that they are still strong despite the increasing horrors, she said..

thanking us? when they are the ones suffering!

guarding the holy shrine, masjidil-aqsa FOR THE SAKE OF THE UMMAH with their blood, souls and everything they have;

and they thank US??

ya Allah..

coming from someone who has lost a husband. who sees death and terrors every day in her life.

it was..amazing..

no.. the word amazing doesnt do justice. it was beyond amazing.

way way beyond.

their mujahadah, their struggles to fight for Allah regardless the obstacles, had made them constantly introspecting their niat, their vision.. their ambitions.. it made them truly committed dalam mentarbiyyah (didik) diri, mentarbiyyah iman - everything. it made them live for the sake of others..selfless..

subhanallah..

their ultimate dreams is to either achieve success in this dunia - so that muslims can again pray in masjidil-aqsa..or they die in attempt and achieve syahid fi sabilillah.

subhanallah..

u could almost see these words engraved in her heart as she projected it with her presence.. she didnt have to say it.. but subhanallah. Maha Suci Allah. her presence..

there was something about her presence.

kecintaan dan keimanan dia pada Allah, pada islam.. kerinduan dia pada syahid.

no..she didnt have to say it.

but Allah Taala gave this overwhelming ambience in that room. Every word she said was powerful, it was literally drawing our hearts, this feeling as if there and then i wanted to sneak into her luggage and follow her to palestine.

She was asked once, “Behind a great man there is a greater women,”

Rasya immediately said "Tidak, demi Allah, jika wanita itu ada di balik kesuksesan dr. Rantisi hingga ia meraih syahadah, maka tak lain dia adalah ibunya-Allahuyarhamuha- yang telah membesarkan dan mendidiknya dengan sebaik-baik pendidikan. Beliaulah yang menanam makna kemuliaan dan ketinggian harga diri di jiwa As-Syahid.”

ya Allah.

anugerahkanlah kepada kami cinta kepada Mu dan cinta kepada orang yang cintanya berguna disisMu...

ya Allah,

setiap anugerahMu kepada kami yang kami cintai, kami memohon jadikanlah ia sebagai kekuatan kami untuk mencintai apa yang Kau cintai..

ya Allah,

setiap apa yang kami cintai dan tidak kau berikan kepada kami, kami memohon jadikanlah itu sebagai peluang kami untuk berada dalam perkara yang Kau cintai..

ya Allah

wa'amitha alaa shahatan fi sabilik

dan matikanlah kami dalam keadaan syahid di jalan Mu..

let us hand-in-hand, return to Allah Taala..

return to thr true teachings of Islam..

because true success lies in obeying Allah Taala.

ps: this was 1 of the 3 dialogue sessions with Ummu Muhammad (rasya) and Umi Nadia Al-Ahsy. besides bangi, they also had it in shah alam and seremban a few days before

pps: i stopped takin down notes after a few minutes. i just had to pay her my fullest attention. my dear friend nadiaBubblyyy took notes when rasya was in shah alam (boleh ye nadia?=))

the fishy story

2009-03-16T11:47:00.006+11:00

i remembered the 1st time my parents bought koi's to fill our little fish pond, one of them comitted suicide.

probably couldnt stand the change in environment.
or probably it was separated from its mom or dad.
or maybe it was bullied by the other big fishes in that big clear bag while on the way home from the fish shop..
or maybe it overheard my family and i joking about how convenient it was to just catch the fish in the pond and bbq it, complete with an imitation from bruce the shark from finding nemo, "we're having fish tonight!!" *evil laugh* (i think that came from ayah..hehe)

Allah knows best.

whatever it was, the fish killed itself. it was swimming so fast-non stop till it died; complying to the famous statement, "penat nak mampos"

that was the first em, death case in our pond.

last year i called up my mom, but instead of our usual girl talks, she related to me the massive deaths of our fishes inflicted by the water pump.
it mysteriously stopped working, and because my family balik kampung for about 3 days, the stagnant water had ample time to murder the fishes - one by one.

my dad and my brother had to dig this massive fish graveyard and completely clean the pond.

subhanallah..

there were only 2 koi's left, but both were blind.

it was pretty difficult to imagine there were only 2 left, and BLIND..
they've always had this amazing ability to sight people coming near the pond, they'd terus come up to you- their mouths'd be kissing the air - eager and practically begging for food.. and the way they fight each other for those ball-like fish food..let me just tell you, it'd be a bad idea to stand in proximity to the pond at that moment of time..

so when i came home, and fed the fish; i was swept by a wave of sadness.
there was no more fights over the food, and those 2 fishes, i hypothesise - could smell the food, but it couldnt actually tell where the food were.
kesian sangat.

i couldnt help but feel that they'd die a lonely death.

this morning, i was sidai-ing the baju when my gaze fell upon the pond.
there in the pond was 5 baby fishes! swimming happily and joyfully wiping their faces at their fellow comrade's tails..(i think they were playing tag-the-fishtail)

=)

i couldnt help but feel this upsurge of hope and a bright future for the life in the pond.

life is like passing the baton.
passed from the generation before us, to us..
and we shall later pass on the baton to the generation after us.

the fish that comitted suicide? - it never had the opportunity to contribute to the sustainability of the pond's ecosystem.
if we live for ourselves, blindly following what our nafs wants; then whats left for the future generation? dont let ourselves live for the sake of ourselves.

subhanallah. can a man stoop so low?

the 2 surviving koi's? - though clearly having to stand tall through much difficulty (the blindness as well as the perpetual reminder of the loss of their friends - naturally, we refused to build another pond so they had no choice but to live in the site of murder) they were blessed by Allah Taala with fish kids - enabling them to continue the life in that very pond.

who we are today, will shape the generation of the future.
the whole life of our dearest Nabi SAW was dedicated for us - the future generation.

we may have had our past.
but we still have the present.
and whatever we do in the present shall affect the future.

"Life begins the day you start a garden" (Chinese proverb)

at 17, Usamah bin Zaid LED an army to Syria.
at 21, Sultan Muhammad Fateh conquered Constantinople.

like the saying of one imam, "when the deen enters the heart of a child, he matures"

we may have passed the age of 17 or 21, but its never too late for us to truly embrace iman - for if we truly want to adopt the ingenuity of our prophet, then our lives today is for tomorrow.

To ensure that iman enters the hearts of our children, then iman must first enter our hearts. it all begins with us.

a lesson i derived from the 2 blind fishes; as cliche as it my sound, 'life goes on'
=)

thank you, dear fishes in the pond for teaching me a lesson in life
=) =)=)

Gantt Charts

2009-03-06T13:13:00.006+11:00

Salam =)

was filling up this application form, when i came to this bit that
requested me to prepare a gantt chart..

aah.. the memories..
the 1st time we had to do it in this design project,
the gantt chart was i think the last thing we prepared..
hehe..
so much for planning..
of course our lecturer told us again and again that it was important..
but did we listen??
noooooooooo +_+

so we sorta learnt it the hard way that gantt charts are important..
sort of=)

planning itu penting sbb:

(59:18) Hai orang-orang yang beriman, bertaqwalah kepada Allah dan hendaklah setiap diri memperhatikan apa yang telah diperbuatnya untuk hari esok, dan bertaqwalah kepada Allah, sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui apa yang kamu kerjakan.

=)
reminding myself..

2009-03-05T11:22:00.005+11:00

O my son, let not the cock be more clever than you - it calls at early hours of dawn while you are asleep

- NabiAllah Luqman Alayhissalam

(Al-Muzammil: 6-9)
Verily the rising at night (tahajjud) is very hard and most potent and good for governing oneself, and most suitable for understanding the Word (of Allah)

Verily there is for you by day prolonged occupation with ordinary duties

And remember the Name of your Lord and devote yourself to Him with a complete devotion..

Lord of the East and the West. Lailaha illa Huwa. So take Him Alone as Wakil.

reminder from Allah

2009-02-20T21:54:00.010+11:00

Salam.
My salam to the souls that Allah bestowed the nikmat to still breath...

i just came back from visiting my neighbour. She had recently been diagnosed with cancer and had to go thru chemotherapy. 4th stage.

and she's only a few years older than me.

she has a boy, a few months old..
but he was really good alhamdulillah. as if he knew that he's mother was sick..
he was really really good..
subhanallah..

my heart cried.
my aunt and my dearest grandmother succumbed to cancer.
and one of the things about cancer that just makes your heart bleed, is the pain they have to go thru after chemo.. its just so painful to see the ones who are ever so dear to you, trying their ultimate best to carve a smile when their whole body is crumbling..

to see my neighbour, so fragile..
so..
so fragile..
subhanallah..
each word she mustered was a reflection of her inner strength..

ya Allah give her strength..
ya Allah.. There is no strength but from You..
i beg You to give her all the strength she needs..
='(

We have high ambitions of what we want to achieve in life..
But all those are indefinite..
Death?
Death IS definite..

Ya Allah.. make our deeds in the dunya means to win Your Redha in the akhirah..
ya Allah..
ya Allah.. ku mohon dgn sgt sgt sgt..

Rabbana aatina fiddunia hasanah..
wafil akhirati hasanah..
wakina azabannar..

My dear friends, say tomorrow is no longer mine to see, do forgive me..
for whatever i have done..
from the bottom of my heart, please..
do forgive me..

ya Allah..forgive me..
forgive me, my Lord ='(

the world and I

2009-02-09T22:05:00.004+11:00

Down under's suffering a scorching 49 degs summer killing 131 have died, and toll expected to increase..

moving to south east asia, Malaysia, is facing political dilemma and threat.
(I'd rather not go into the details, but if i may suggest, i thought Us. Halim gave a very intellectual and inspiring commentry on the Perak crisis)

Rohingya Muslims, myanmar being persecuted.

While the Bush administration focused on Iraq, i find it rather disturbing
that Obama is focusing on Afghanistan..

Not to forget, Gaza - Palestine..
(please dont make this into a fad.. they need our help till they day Allah gives them victory..
till then, their sufferings are for real and continuous.. im slowly starting to see this as
yesterday's news.. people are starting to not care as much and it breaks my heart)

Egypt, Africa..
Bosnia.. Iraq.. Iran..
America..
China..

It seems like the whole world is in crisis..
and what i know is limited to only what i read..
which i believe is a little less then a drop in the 7 seas..

teringat this ayat:
(55:29) Whosoever is in the heavens and on earth begs of Him
everyday He is (engaged) in some affair

Compared to all that is happening in the world, the things that Allah needs
to control in the universe - the orbits, the planets, the black holes.. every single lil atom or electron, proton..
ya Allah..

who am i in this world..
rasa terlalu kerdil..
small..
bila sujud, nak meminta tapi..
ya Allah..
i am smaller than maybe a speck in Allah's majestic dominion..

='(

but then the subsequent verses..
so beautiful..
my Allah says:
(55:30-31) Then which of the blessings of your Rabb do you deny?
We shall attend to you, O you two classes! (men and jinn)
Then which of the blessings of your Rabb do you deny?

=')

Allah SHALL attend to you..
ask Him.. and He will attend to you..

He is the Owner of All Things..
ask Him..
ask Him..

may Allah strengthen our iman..
ya Allah bestown upon us khusnul khatimah..

ya Allah, bestow from You, help to the muslimeen of this ummah..
ya Allah, bestow from You, help upon the mujahideen in Falestin and all other places...

Let us hand in hand return to Allah Taala..
Our busy-ness in this world is nothing compared to the busy-ness
of Allah Taala..
yet He is more than willing to listen to us..
by His Rahmat, by His Grace, attend to us..

Yet here we are, complaining there's not enough time to ponder
on even ONE verse of Allah's beautiful words because we are 'too busy'..

too busy with the dunia when it is to Allah we shall return in the hereafter..
=(

do we think what we have and what we are working for in this world, sufficient
when we return to Him in the Day of resurrection??

Let us throw away that arrogance from our hearts
and hand in hand return to the Quran and sunnah..

for
"in the rememberance of Allah will the heart find rest.."
(Ar-Ra'd)

We will NOT go down

2009-02-03T11:04:00.002+11:00

the lyrics brought me to tears='(
Allahumma ansuril islama walmuslimin..
Allahumma ansuril mujahideen fi gaza, falestin wa kulli makaan..

We will not go down
by Micheal Heart

A blinding flash of white light
Lit up the sky over Gaza tonight
People running for cover
Not knowing whether they’re dead or alive

They came with their tanks and their planes
With ravaging fiery flames
And nothing remains
Just a voice rising up in the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

Women and children alike
Murdered and massacred night after night
While the so-called leaders of countries afar
Debated on who’s wrong or right

But their powerless words were in vain
And the bombs fell down like acid rain
But through the tears and the blood and the pain
You can still hear that voice through the smoky haze

We will not go down
In the night, without a fight
You can burn up our mosques and our homes and our schools
But our spirit will never die
We will not go down
In Gaza tonight

my bestfriendsss weddingsss

2009-01-31T02:10:00.009+11:00

[16:72] And GOD made for you spouses from among yourselves, and produced for you from your spouses children and grandchildren, and provided you with good
provisions. Should they believe in falsehood, and turn unappreciative of GOD's blessings?

to one of my bestest girlfriend, hood (1st feb)
and my dearest study roommate, akmar (31st jan)..
and the sweet ukhti, azza (31st jan)..
my dear lil sis, mardiha (10th jan)
and my bestfriend in the world and (hopefully insyaAllah, in the hereafter too), ukhti pnut (14th feb)

baarakallahu laka wabaaraka alaika wajama'a bainakumaa fii khair
may ur marriage bring u closer to Allah Tabarak Taala=)
a great blessing and a great sign from Him - to increase our faith in Al-Khaliq..

i cant remember where i found this, but here's a little something
i thought of sharing=)
of hope and faith, insyaAllah Taala..

Untukmu Bakal 'Imam'ku yang tiada siapa mengenali termasuklah diri ini, dirimu masih rahsia penciptamu..rahsia yang telah ditentukan untukku, yang perlu kusingkap dengan segunung taubat dan sepenuh sungguhan sujudku, cuma jambatan istikharah jua yang bisa merungkai rahsiaku ini....

Ketahui namamu tidak menjadi idamanku, apa lagi untuk menatap wajahmu.
Menggeletar diri ini apabila terfikirkan azab Allah, justeru diri ini amat bersyukur kerana masih tidak di takdirkan sebarang pertemuan sedar antara kita, ku bimbang andai terjadi pertemuan itu sebelum lafaz akad darimu, sungguh kita menempah siksaan Allah.
Ya Tuhan kami lindungi kami..

Biar bertahun lama yang ku tunggu bukan dirimu tetapi yang ku tunggu adalah lafaz akad yang akan membimbing diri ini ke Jannah Allah. Apalah ertinya perasaan kasih yang bersemi untukmu suamiku andai maharnya bukan kemampuanmu untuk mendidikku menjadi muslimah yang mencintai DIA lebih dari segala...

Tiada yang lebih bahagia suamiku, melainkan didikanmu yang akan membuatkan diri ini mencintai perjuangan menegakkan Deen ini, berikan ku sepenuh kekuatanmu dalam mendidik iman ku agar syahidmu ku damba, berikanku segala kasihmu jua agar sujudku kan tegar padaNya dalam memohon dikurniakan pada kita mujahid-mujahid yang akan menyambung perjuangan.Berikanku sepenuhnya sebahagian hati yang kau sediakan untuk diriku agar sebahagian hati mu itu akan menjadi inspirasi padaku untuk menghantar satu per satu mujahid kita untuk menyambung perjuangan rasulullah SAW. Suamiku, hatimu itu milik robbul jaleel, dan ku pohon sebagaian itu sebagai semangatku wahai suamiku.. Dari awal lagi ku cuba didik hati ini, bahawa dirimu suami ku bukan milikku dan juga mujahid-mujahidku itu bukan milikku.. kalian milik Allah, dan diriku hanya medan yang diciptakanNya untuk menyambung generasi Islam dari rahim ini.

Wahai bakal suamiku, seadanya diri ini sekarang, hanyalah dalam mujahadah mentarbiyyah jiwa agar diriku bisa menjadi sayapmu mengenggam syahid. Tersangatlah bimbang diri ini andai ku gagal mendidik hati, kerana yang kuimpi seorang pejuang untuk menyambung jihad yang terbentang dengan melahirkan para mujahid...Wahai suamiku, walau dimana jua dirimu dan siapa jua dirimu yang psti bersama kita mendidik hati mencintai SYAHID demi redhanya, sebagai hamba yang menikmati kurniaan yang tidak terkira dari rafiul a'la, bersamalah kita bersyukur, bersyukur dengan mencintai DIA lebih dari segala isi dunia dan dunia ini...kerana hilang erti pada sebuah kehidupan andai cinta dari Allah tidak kita balas, andai cinta sementara bisa mmelukakan hati sepatutnya hati-hati kita robek sudah kerana gagal membalas segunung cinta dari DIA Maha Esa...Semoga semuanya terjawab dalam sujud yang kita labuhkan demi redhaNya...biarlah seribu malam berlalu tapi pastikan ianya berlalu dengan alunan sendu dalam sujud kita diatas lembaran tahajjud dan istikharah..

Amin ya Rabbal Alamin

9802 2009=)

2009-01-29T11:33:00.007+11:00

im not sure how many time ive coughed out some words only to delete them=/

words fail me..

nonetheless, pictures can paint a thousand words=)

HUGSSS!!=)thank you Allah Taala.. for giving me wonderful girlfriends =)

(Al-Kahf:10) Ya Rabb, bestow upon us Mercy from yourself,and provide for us out of our condition, with conciousness of what is right..

may Allah grant us His forgiveness, and admits us, by His Mercy

into Jannah=)

im sure no one would shushh us on that day=p

like bright stars twinkling in the thickest of nights

2009-01-26T22:56:00.012+11:00

Artist: Kamal Sabran (KL Film Fest & Art exhibition on Palestine)

Alhamdulillah=)

This morning, Allah Taala gave me the precious opportunity to do some work with amanpalestine..

Aman Palestine set up some booths at pkns bangi (will be there till 7th feb - promote!=)) where there were (and will have) exhibitions and fund collecting..

i've always loved kids, and alhamdulillah, there were LOTSA kids
there td..probably half of the exhibits were actually cartoons,
so my friends and i were bringing the kids around explaining to them
what the cartoons meant..

for a moment i felt like a kinder teacher=)

their questions were innocent... their comments were genuine..
their reactions just touched me..

i gave most of them extra brochures so that they could tell their other
friends what they saw and learnt from the exhibitions..
and they all'd put on this determined heroic face that said, "im gona to do whatever it takes to help my friends in gaza"

=')

ya mujahideen fi falestin..

may you witness this young generation grow into
real muslimeens.. their hearts burning with the ambition and effort to
return islam to its proper place in this world.. their goal is Allah Taala
and they will never obey the disbelievers.. may this generation help you get back the blessed land..

they were, in my heart, like bright stars twinkling in the thickest of nights..

(25:74) rabbana hablana min azwajina qurrata a'yun..waj'alna lilmuttaqeena imama
rabbana, bestow upon us from our spouses and offspring,
the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of those who have taqwa..

p/s: i was reading this yesterday.. it broke my heart.. this boy's only one yr older than afnan='(

2009-01-05T15:13:00.005+11:00

=)

I've always wanted to see an aurora for real.

(30:22) And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth..

=)

2009-01-02T17:55:00.004+11:00

I went to my aunt's place the other night
to find her watching Oprah.
Oprah, that night, invited Jim Carey as her guest..

They were briefly talking about Jim Carey's son
who was diagnosed with autism..

Carey said something like, "Evan is a very very special person..
God takes something away, but gives him a lot of other things..
He's very very special.."
Oprah: "So you believe that everything happens for a reason?"
Without hesistation, Jim carey replied, "Yes..i do.."

For those who have faith in Allah Tabarak Taala
this thought increases their iman and they say:

(Al-Imran:191) "Our rabb! You have not created all these without purpose,
Subhanaka, Give us the salvation from the torment of the Fire.."

The beginning of an end

2008-12-25T12:43:00.006+11:00

Alhamdulillahi Taala..
All praises upon Allah Taala..
My Rabb.. My Creator.. The One Who has complete
control of my heart..my soul..

Who has helped me.. guided me..
till this very day.. I make much much dua that
His Hidayah would be the nourisher to our souls
till death do us apart..

Alhamdulillah, praise be to Him for without His Help,
would i not be able to graduate last week..
Ever am I grateful for this ni'mat.. I make dua that Allah
guides my heart, my actions,
bestow upon me patience.. This is indeed a test from Him
to see whether I am grateful..
ya Allah, guide me..

My dear friend reminded me the other day..
"ijazah demi risalah"

Graduation marked the beginning of an end..
the path may long tough..
but the Reason is crystal clear..

i quote the motto of my alma mater=):

postera crescam laude
'to grow in the esteem of future generations’

It is upon YOU to maintain the eminence of Islam
and the dignity granted to it by the Lord..
to follow it sincerely..
to do justice to its articles of faith and belief..
to obey implicitly its tenets and orders..
and to give it the proper place in your lives..

Commander of the faithful;
Imam Ali bin Abi Talib

Eid Mubarak!=)

2008-12-08T11:22:00.007+11:00

My sisters and I prayed our eid prayers in denbys park,
out in the open..

To see the beatiful sky as the imam said, "Allahu akbar.."
and again, "Allahu akbar.." and again, "Allahu akbar.."
that was enough to make the heart tremble..

small..
and my Rabb..
Magnificent.. so Great..
Allahu akbar..

Then the imam started to recite one of our nabi's favourite surah,
Sura Al-A'la..

"Sabbihismarabbikal a'ala..alladzi khalaqa fasawwa.."
Glorify the name of thy Rabb, Most High..
He Who created you and further given order and proportion..

The birds, the heavens and the earth, i felt were glorifying
with his recitation.. it was..
it was beautiful..
amazing..

words are insufficient to describe the feeling..

saya syg sgt Allah saya
=')

im fallin in love..

2008-11-25T22:14:00.005+11:00

i know i have a paper first thing tomorrow morning..
but i couldnt help but to go to
st kilda beach to catch the sunset=)

just sitting there on the soft sand..

enchanted with the whole of what i saw and felt..
the wind, the waves..the heavens..
the sun.. the sand..
the birds..

everything..

it just makes you feel..

small..

who am i for Allah to give me such
bounty..but Subhanallah..

Subhanallah ya Allah..
Subhanallah..

im falling in love with my Creator..

and i never want to stop loving Him=)

rabbana, deviate not our hearts after You
have given guidance

rabbana la tuzi'qulubana, izhadaitana
wahablana minladunka rahmah..innaka antalwahhab=)

Counting the days

2008-10-30T07:35:00.003+11:00

Salam alaik..

the semester's coming to an end..

Computational Biomech lecture at 1.15pm today
will mark the last lecture of my undergrad studies..

Human Resource Management tute tomorrow will
insyaAllah close the chapter of my undergrad academic period..

"2 roads diverged in a yellow wood"
a line often mentioned back in f5..
for 11 whole years, the path was made crystal clear..
6 years of primary, then 5 years of secondary school..

i pretty much dreaded finishing f5..
it was like walking into complete darkness..
I couldn't see what lied ahead of me..

which path's I'd take..

having to step out of my circle of friends
which I have been more than comfortable with for
5 whole years..

separation was painful for me..
and still is in many ways..
i still miss them..
Allah has placed them, a special place in my heart=)

"joy and pain we share, laughter and tears we care..
all the friends we love, all the sufferings thick and thin
we fight and we fight till the end"
=)

but Alhamdulillah, Allah made ease the path for me..
and I believe for most of my sweetheart friends too=)

from afar i see them braving the harshness of the
professional workforce (?=p)
from afar i see others courageously embracing the
akad in which Allah has described as "mithaqan ghaliza"
ie. a heavy covenant (cinot! CONGRATSSS lagii!!=)=))
and from not so far (=p) , i see elation and joy in
the faces of my dear friends as they look into the eyes
of their beautiful babies (balkhis and nebb!! CONGRATSS!!=))

5 years ago we all walked into the dark tunnel of uncertainty..
it was this darkness, that made us understand ourselves better;
its ambiance that pretty much influenced decisions we made;
and Allah's guidance that shaped the changes we see
as we walk out that dark tunnel today=)

to my sweethearts back at home, i miss you darls=)
you guys soooo owe me a hug and a blanja with your
duit gaji..hehe=)

may Allah incessantly be the Guide of you and I..
may Allah give strength for you to follow the path best for
your Deen..for your dunia and akhirat=)
doakan tmc jugak, tau=)

rabbana zalamna anfusana..
wain lam taghfirlana watarhamna nalakunanna
minalkhaasirin..

rabbana aatina fiddunia hasanah..
wafil akhirati hasanah..
wakina azabannar..

Astaghfirullah Robbal Baroyaa
Astaghfirullah Minal Khothooya
Astaghfirullah Minal Khothooya

Robbiy Zidniy ‘ilman Naafi’aa
Wawaffiqlii ‘amalan Maqbuulan
Wawahablii Rizqon Waasi’aa
Watub ‘alayya Taubatan Nashuuha
Watub ‘alayya Taubatan Nashuuha

Astaghfirullah Robbal Baroyaa
Astaghfirullah Minal Khothooya
Astaghfirullah Minal Khothooya

Wahai Tuhan daku bermohon
keampunan dan kemaafan
tambahkan padaku ilmu yang berguna
terimalah amalanku
dan perkenankan taubat hambaMu

Our Creation

2008-09-17T15:33:00.010+10:00

the bounties of Allah is not to be thrown away, rather,
it is to be used in the way that pleases Him..

let us use the eyes, the ears and the hearts that Allah
has given us to ponder on His Mightiness=)

Here's a beautiful song by Hamza Robertson that i'd like to share with you insyaAllah taala=)
"Our Creation"

p/s: this was Allah's gift for us on our journey to Ellin's walimah in sydney last winter=)

pp/s:

"do we feel a deeper meaning to it all?
and in Our Creation there are no flaws?
Do we think the truth is no longer clear to see??
And the simple things are left behind..
Like smiling at your fellow man
Or looking up the velvet sky..”

(Our Creation-Hamza Robertson)

2008-07-21T08:40:00.009+10:00

salam..
ba'da zikrullah wasalawat..

this is something i really really want to share with you..
i beg you to spare just 5 minutes of today to put aside
all the dunia that is in our hearts and minds, and answer this..

Who created you?

is your answer Allah Taala??

(43:87) And if you ask them who created them they will surely say: "Allah."

then let us return to Allah SWT..
let each solat be something the
heart yearns and ever so much miss..

if Allah is your answer, then let the heart yearn for its Creator so much that
each time we sleep, we cant wait to get up in that
time of night, and experience the sweetness of being alone
with Al-Wadud, The most Loving..

if Allah is your answer, then let us leave all those Allah has forbidden, and return our hearts
to Allah taala..

our hearts need Him..
let us obey our Allah as the sahabah's did..
and let us leave all that He has forbidden..

leave that non-mahram whom you remember day and night..
for he can NEITHER interecede you NOR help you on the day of Qiyamah..
a day that everyone would be soo extremely worried about their own deeds
that even a child's head will turn grey (beruban)
(73:17)

not just that, it is that very non-mahram that you have comitted your
life, mind and heart to that will be your enemy on that day!

(43:67) Friends on that day will be foes to one another
EXCEPT those who bertaqwa..

all that we say..
all that we do..
will all be presented to the All-Mighty, Al-Jabbar on yaumul Haq..
the day of Truth..

to have to listen to all that we have said and done is one thing..
but to be PRESENTED in front of our Ilah! our Rabb! our rabb that has created
us??

ya Allah..
I seek refuge with the Rabb of mankind..
the Malik (King) of mankind..
the Ilah of mankind..

ya Allah we seek your forgiveness..
and hisablah kami dgn hisab yang mudah..

I remind myself and i invite you..
let our hearts return to Allah..we need Him..
we really do..
and Islam that Allah has bestowed upon us,
is a gift..a gift so valuable beyond the mind of mankind!
jagalah deen ini..jagalah..
let us together hand-in-hand make this deen flourish to
every corner of the world.. because, wallahi, this world
is in desperate need of this deen..

let us spread this deen..
let us together take care of this deen..
sebab if Allah decides to take it back..ya Allah..
nauzubillah..i would not even want to think about it..
(8:3) Rabbana, deviate not our hearts after you have
given guidance..

let us return to the Right path..
the Straight Path that we ask for in each solat..
ihdinassiratal mustaqim..

we say, iyyaka na'budu, waiyyaka nasta'in..
to You do we pray, and to You do we seek help..

seek help from Him..
for He is there to help you..

(2:186) And when My Abd ask you concerning Me,
then I am indeed near. I respond to the due of the
supplicant when he calls Me..so let them obey Me..and
beriman to Me, so that they may be led aright..

Allah will help but on condition we obey Him and beriman to Him..

(43:87) And if you ask them who created them, they will surely say:
"Allah" How then are they turned away???

let us not be among those who turn away from Him..
please please please dont..

please..

dont..

let us return to Him..
let us return to Him before we breath our last breath..

seek forgiveness from Allah Ta'ala..
He is ready to provide us with bounties beyond
our imagination if we obey Him..
(43:71)..therein (are) all that inner selves could desire..

Let us keep the day that we shall meet Him vivid in our mind and hearts..
because there will be a group that Allah describes,

(45:34) And it will be said, "This Day We will forget you
as you forgot the Meeting of this Day of yours!! and your abode is the fire!!
and there is NONE to help you!!"

we need Allah!!
now, in the future! forever!!
we need Him..
so we must avoid from making Him displeased..
i beg you..and i invite you..
let us return to Allah Ta'ala..let the Quran,
His Majestic words be the spring of our hearts..
our everything..

Tell me! if Allah made the night continous for you till
the Day of Qiyamah, which ilah besides Allah could bring
you light??? Will you not then hear??

Tell me! if Allah made the day continous for you till the
Day of Qiyamah, which ilah besides Allah could bring
you light??? Will you not then see??

It is out of the His Mercy that He has made you the night and
the day that you may rest therein and seek bounties therein..
and in order that you may BERSYUKUR..

(28:71-73)

sujud

2008-06-18T08:12:00.003+10:00

salam=)

sujud..

early this year, my friends and i went to
this place called Ottway..
it was exhilaratingly beautiful..
a beautiful place with beautiful people..
^_^

on the way there, we stopped to do zuhur..
we parked at this R&R and prayed on the grass..
2 mat salleh girls came up and sat a few feet
behind us, observing..
we heard one of them whispering (rather loudly)
"shh..not so loud..they're praying!!!"
and once we gave salam, they asked us, can we pray too?
and they put their heads on the ground in sujud
^_^

may Allah guide them..

Sujud..sujud pada Allah ta'ala..
a gift from the All-Mighty..
ya Allah..thank You for allowing us to
sujud to You..thank You..
thank You..

(7:205-206) And remember your Rabb within yourselves,
humbly and with fear and without loudness in words,
in the mornings and in the afternoons, and be not those
who are neglectful..

surely those who are with your Rabb are never proud to
perform ibadah, but they glorify His Praise and
sujud before Him..

(2:74)...indeed there are stones which fall down for fear of Allah ..

salam=)

2008-06-12T06:35:00.005+10:00

Salam =)

there's this one beautiful hadith
my housemate read this morning that id like to share:

from Abu Hurairah, sabda rasulullah SAW,
"you will not enter jannah until you have iman..
and you will not have iman until you love one
another..
do you want me to show you a way that would
plant the seed of love among you?

emanate salam amongst you"
=)

salam=)
salamun alaikum=)=)
salam! salam! salam=)=)=)

exam week..
2 papers down.2 to go insyaAllah ta'ala..

exams are really interesting..
not the exam papers, but the experience
itself..

study as much as u want to..
stay up as long as u want..
depress yourself as much as u can..

but when in front of the exam hall,
it all boils down to one common feeling..
a common feeling that will be felt by all
of those who studied hard, not studied,
stayed up, not stayed up,depressed and
undepressed souls alike;

-anxiety

you stand there waiting in front of the exam hall..
some matsaleh friends come over telling you how worried they
are..restless as they share their portion of anxiety with you..

you smile..you smile because you remembered that it was this
very feeling you felt during your sujud before coming to exams..
in your sujud you mengadu sgt sgt pada Allah how worried you were..
how restless your heart was..

then in that very sujud, you became aware of the very posture..
your head down on the floor..bowing down to none other
than the One who owns the very knowledge that you've been working hard for..
the One whose in Hands are the examiners souls..
the very One that really cares about you..loves you..loves you..
loves you =')

and then Allah SWT bestowed upon you sakinah..
tranquility.. and strengthed your heart..

you sit in duduk antara 2 sujud..thenceforth moving to your sujud
again..

then this thought comes into mind..
we were in sujud..
once we were nothing..

then we sat in duduk antara 2 sujud..
Allah gave us life..gave us the opportunity
to feel life..to test which of us is best in
deeds..which of us really loves Him and really strives
for His sake..
we fall..make mistakes..we struggle..
but Allah was always there ready to forgive..
ready to help us up..ready to reward..
it was all up to us to angkat that tangan and make that dua..

then we came back into sujud..
our souls will be taken and we will again die..

then we come in tahiyyat akhir..
we will again be rised up and brought to Him..
how would you want to be resurrected??
how would you want to face Your Allah?

but on that Day you will be brought to Allah,
Allah will not question whether you got an H1 or failed your
exams..but He will ask how you reacted when you felt that frustration..
or how you reacted when you recieved success..

(92:4) indeed you deeds and efforts are diverse..

some go get extremely drunk..
but some others return their hearts to Allah..

in which category do i belong? you ask yourself...
do my deeds reflect that i am indeed a Muslim?
Muslim = full submission..full submission to my Allah..
reflection..

then at the end of your tahiyyat, you hear yourself saying,
"salamun alaikum warahmatullah..allahumma inna nas'aluka ridhaka wa jannah"
salamun alaikum and rahmah Allah..ya Allah bestow upon us Your redha and
Your Jannah..

you feel strengthened by the solat..
Allah reminded you about the ultimate examination
and the REAL rewards He has for you..

"salamun alikum bima sabartum" (13: 24)
"salamun qaula rabbi rahim" (yassin:58)

Allah saying salam to you before stepping into His Jannah!
that alone would be enough to melt any hardship in the world!
what more that which lies in wait beyond the doors of Jannah!!
beyond words..
--------------------------------------------

then you step into the exam hall.
you take your seat..
and you sit there and looking at those exam questions..

reading period..

question 1..you smile..you've done this and
seen this gazillion times before..

question 2..your smile,erm, decreases (?)
you know what its about, but you just cant recall the
formula of that weighted one step ahead cost function!
if you'd remember that, everything else would be ok..

question 3..you start to frown;eyebrows scruched in concentration..
laminar flame.. s equals to WHAT? you gawk at the given formula..
never seen anything alike in your life!!

exam starts..
exam ends..

everyone walks out of the exam hall..

everyone walked in with what they revised..

but you walk in with that AND the Owner of
that very knowledge! the One who knows more than your lecturer!
you walk in with your Allah=)

while everyone, including you, struggled to answer
the questions, you had Allah all along to pour your dissapointment to..
you had Allah to hold on to..you had Allah to ask for..
you had Allah by your side..you had Allah..
that alone was strength..ultimate strength that made you feel
sangat kesian dekat the very person sitting next to you..
and despite you trying to remember the function Prandtl suggested
for turbulent flow, you couldnt help but to for a moment think
"ya Allah..may the guy beside me accept Your Hidayah"

my master Muhammad SAW is most beloved to my Allah SWT..
but he was inflicted with much tests and trials..

having Allah by your side does not imply
sailing in a ship without a storm, but it implies
sailing in a ship that no storm can sink..

=)

All the best for exams..
may Allah be our strength and support through and through..

(74:7)walirabbika fasbir..
and for the sake of your Rabb, bersabarlah..

(13:24) Salamun alaikum bima sabartum..
peace be upon you that you persevered in patience..
=)

may Allah give me strength to hold on to
my own words..

may Allah grant forgiveness upon us all..
may Allah meet our hearts in His Jannah..

Allah knows best..
unto Him shall we return..

tick tick tick goes the clock

2008-02-02T10:26:00.001+11:00

i learnt something reaaallllllyyyyy cool during the last friday prayers
i went=)

bear with me insyaAllah ya!=) may Allah help me present this as He assisted
the khateeb..

you know that sura we frequently recite every after some
majlis=)

i remembered back at school, after the friday assembly, the
prefect'll go "kita akhiri dgn tasbih kafarah dan SURA AL-ASR" =)

wal'asr

in the malay tafsir it's translated as: Demi Masa
in the English tafsir its translated as: by the time..

but arabic is a beautiful languange..
malay and english is just like the surface whereas the depth
of arabic is like the bottom of the pacific ocean..

al-asr literally means time..nontheless,
arabic has lexical meanings where in this case,
the root word of asr implies squeezing everything which is good and
throwing out that which is not is use..

example 1: like air tebu..
we usually see people at the pasar put in the batang tebu in that machine thingy,
squeezing out and extracting all the sweet tebu and throwing out the
hampas..

example 2: like wine (probably a scandalous example=p)
the grapes are squeezed to get the wine and the skin is later
thrown away..

so when Allah says, wal'asr, it doesnt just imply
Allah qasm (swearing) on the time, but it has deeper meanings..
imagine time as something we squeeze and thenceforth,
extracting everything which is good
from it and throwing out that which is not good..

every second, is an input to the heart..what we see, what we hear,
what we experience..and later, all these inputs shall be
translated as outputs; into actions and the words we say..

so extracting all which is good from every second of our life
and throwing out that which is not good=)
that's wal-asr!!!=)=)=)

may by the Grace of Allah SWT, make us among those who use
every second of our remaining time to the fullestestest=)

my Allah..make us among You redha=)

ya Allah, radhitu billahi rabba, wabilislami diina,
wabimuhammadinnabiyya warasula..

we have redha Allah as our Rabb, Islam as our deen,
and Muhammad as our rasul..

ya Allah, redhailah kami=)=)

2008-01-25T13:04:00.000+11:00

La hawla wala quwwata illa billah..

these words were written in an email of mine..
and for some reason, it struck me like
it never before..

Allah is All-Seer of what we do..
Allah is ever witnessing what we reveal..
and what we conceal..

when the mind becomes engrossed with all the
past deeds that have been done...
terasa malu..malu dgn Allah SWT..

when i open the quran, countless times does
the eyes come upon the beautiful names of Allah..
that He is Al-Ghafur..Ar-Rahim..Al-Wadud..Asy-syakur...
that He is Oft-forgiving, Merciful, Most Loving and ready to
Appreciate..

ya Allah..
my Allah is soo sweet.. He is ever ready to appreciate?
appreciate all the deeds when in the first place
all that has been done was none other only by His Grace??

my Allah is sooo sweet..
that He is more than eager to forgive His abd..
again, again and again..

my Allah is sooo sweet..
=')

wallah.. 'indahu ajran azim..
by Allah, by His side is a great reward..

words are insufficient for me..

jzkk for the friend who reminded me that
"La hawla wala quwwata illa billah"..

there is undoubtly no strength save Allah Subhana wata'ala..

All praises belong to You and only You, my Rabb..

Hijab

2008-01-21T20:49:00.000+11:00

Ummu Salamah dan Maimunah (nabi's wives) pernah sedang bersama Nabi SAW, tiba-tiba lbnu Ummi Maktum (a blind old man) masuk. Peristiwa itu terjadi setelah hijab diturunkan. Nabi SAW berkata kepada istri-istrinya, "Selubungilah diri kalian darinya." lstrinya bertanya, "Ya Rasulullah SAW, bukankah dia buta?" Beliau SAW menjawab, "Apakah kalian juga buta? Tidakkah kalian melihatnya?"
(hadith from Ibn Abas R.A)

food for thought.
That the hijab is not just merely protection from others,
but ultimately, a protection from ourselves..

Allah knows best..

2008-01-18T15:51:00.000+11:00

Salam alaik..
im not supposed to be blogging at the moment..
im supposed to be reading my journals!

but i cant concentrate!

Alahamdulillahi ta'ala! Allah gave me the
opportunity to meet this girl!
she just said her shahadah so now she's a MUSLIM!

and the elation associated with such a meet!
its undescribable!
ya Allah! Allah has given her so much strength!
to stand out and embrace something that may cause
her to lose everything in this world, but insyaAllah ta'ala
gain EVERYTHING that matters in the hereafter..

ya Allah..i beg You to give her the best..
thank You Allah..for making me appreciate the
gift of Islam more than ever=)

2007-12-24T03:36:00.000+11:00

found these words...

So ask yourself: How can I best serve Allah? Find your purpose on Earth, and stick to it. Don’t run from it.

find my purpose..

and stick to it..

ya muqallibal qulub.thabbit qulubana
ala dinik..

1001

2007-11-05T23:11:00.000+11:00

we tend not to judge Allah by the millions
of things He had given us,
but by the one thing that He
has not given us..

Afala tasykurun?
Why are you not grateful??
='(

t.e.s.t

2007-10-28T17:23:00.000+11:00

wallahi..for the purchase beyond earth..
Al-firdaus..
the purpose of you and i..

having Allah by your side does not imply
sailing without a storm, but it implies reaching
safely the destination regardless the obstacles..

walking down the path of life, things may not go the way we want it
to..worked extremely hard for an exam, only to achieve mediocre
results.. or putting hours into an assignment to find the file
rendered corrupted on the day of submission..huhu..

alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..
you know how back in the old days at school,
when we were taught that quran dan sirah rasulullah
haruslah dijadikan panduan hidup sorta thing?
its one of the best medicine to depression..
seriously=)

i was pondering..how all these may be negative in my eyes..
but really Allah does not see it that way..

in Uhud, Muslims lost..big time..
losing in WAR..
what can be even more so distraughting??
WAR..
in our eyes, winning Uhud may be the best thing
for Allah's deen, ya?
i mean, imagine, Uhud was at the early stage of
Islam..

losing implies losing LIVES and material wealth which
from our judgment would be crucial especially at the
early stage of Islam.. losing also implied boosting confidence
among those who had pure hatred for Islam to thenceforth,
openly reject/attack the Muslims..
losing seemingly would pave way for dire and far-reaching consequences..

but really..
if winning was indeed best for Allah's Deen, if indeed
winning was what really mattered to Allah and His Deen, then He would
never have let the Muslims lose the battle in the first place..

there was obviously something else which mattered
much much more to Allah..something that
may not be much in our eyes, but IS in His..

it is the piety in the hearts..

the tables turned the moment the muslims disobeyed prophets explicit order
not to leave mount uhud.

in obeying Allah and His prophet lies piety in the hearts..

at times its easy to obey Allah when we are in a state of ease..
but in times of hardship, obeying Allah becomes sometimes
really hard.. "senyum itu sedekah" an easy example..
its easy to smile to the world when we're on top
of the wheel of life..but at times of hardship, when
struck by problems one after another, to carve a smile becomes
something so difficult..so hard..painful sometimes..
all the heart heart wants is to make the whole world know
how depressed we are at that very moment..

may Allah give us the strength to obey Him in whatever state we are in..
may Allah give us the strength to accept fate in whatever state we are in..

may Allah give us strength and patience to obey Him
despite the obstacles we may face in life because the ultimate success
lies not in the outcome, but lies in the sakinah (or devine tranquility)
that Allah bestows upon one when being tested..
the ultimate success is when Allah accepts our mujahadah
(struggle) and enters us into His Jannah..Al-Firdaus...

ya Allah..i beg You by all the beautiful names
You have named Yourself, endow upon us the
beauty of taqwa and iman.. ya Allah.. ya Allah..
there is nothing we want more than to shade under Your
Shade on the Day there will be no other shade then Yours..
there is nothing that we want more than to
gaze upon Your Magnificent Face..
ya Allah..

Wallahi.. for a purchase beyond earth..
Al-firdaus..

ramjets

2007-10-10T17:48:00.000+10:00

ive been sorta absorbed with my ramjet assignment for
the past few days.

one thing ive learnt from the assignment,
do NOT underestimate journals..mannn..
to write a simple pretend journal not only took up so much time and
effort, but heaps of brain power too!

but then,i digress..

there's another thing that this assignment made me appreciate...
it made me really really ponder on how
dependent we really are on Allah..

ramjets dont have any turbines or compressors to
keep it goin..and so to achieve this you need to be travelling at supersonic speed!
thats faster than the speed of sound!
coolness to the far range of extremity!!!
imagine having ramjets in our cars!! sucks in air and produces this gargantuan amounts of thrust! the feelings gotta be better than driving an F1!!
hair-raising mann!!!
you'll be soo fast that even the police cant catch you=p
(tetibe teringat yaa..i didnt know you
became rempit girl!)

so ya..an engine propulsion system which is dependent on
air flow..in short-if air supply is insufficient, ramjet will drop from the
sky..and if you go thru the maths..aah..the maths and physics..or the
aerodynamics theory behind the whole ramjet phenomena(and to think that the assignment was such that we dwelt on the surface concepts) its just awesome and mind boggling at the same time- indeed Allah owns all knowledge of whatsoever is in the heavens and on earth..sgt blaja untuk appreciate this..
like seriously sgt sgt sgt sgt..

air flow...

and who owns the entire population of air particles in this world?
(14:2) To Allah belongs whatsoever is in the heavens and the earth =)

The ramjet virtually reminded me of this one beautiful
ayat;
(16:79) Do they not look at the birds, held poised in the midst of the sky?
NOTHING holds them up but Allah..Verily in this are signs for those
who believe...

Do they not look at the SR-71 Blackbird held poist in the midst of the sky?
NOTHING holds it up but Allah...
=)

tree-serisation

2007-10-06T09:39:00.000+10:00

Jadilah di kalangan manusia seperti pokok..
orang membalingnya dengan batu, lalu dia
menggugurkan kepada mereka buah paling enak=)

sister-isation

2007-10-02T00:15:00.001+10:00

i consider the person that gave me this
like my little sister that i never had..

i know ive been selfish lately..
not being able to spend a minute or 2
just to ask, how she is..

but thats because deep down, i am convinced that
she is in good hands..
in the care of All-Mighty All-loving Allah SWT=)

and i know that she is there supporting me
in spirit, in prayer insyaAllah...
fawathikillahumma rabitataha...

may Allah bless her abudantly..
ashamed i am of myself..
that Allah gave me a sister who is most caring
and understanding in replace of my selfishness..

may Allah love her more than i do..

Allahumma Balighna Ramadhan!!=)=)

2007-09-10T07:42:00.001+10:00

its coming!its coming!=)
Ramadhan is coming!!
ya Allah...sampaikanlah kami pada Ramadhan!=)

Its not just about syaitan diikat,
but its a month filled with Allah's
bounties..like its THERE..
we just need to grab them..as much as we can!

Allah gave long age to the previous people..
Nabi Nuh spread the word of Allah for
950 years..that implies he'd probably
lived for more than a thousand years..

so subhanallah, probably ibadah-wise, we'll
never be able to catch up with those pious in
previous times..

but this is it!
Ramadhan!! Allah's opening the doors
of oppurtunity to catch up with those
people!! malam lailatul Qadr,
the blessed night which Allah will reward
as if 1000 months..
the every second throughout the month itself!
so much is there that Allah is wanting to give!!
=)

ya Allah..ya Allah..
give us the strength and oppurtunity
to use every single second to the fullest!!
=)=)=)
Aminn!!ya Rabbal Alamin!=)=)

like an ugly caterpillar crawling into
its pupa..and thenceforth evolving into a beautiful
butterfly!=)

like us crawling into Ramadhan,
thenceforth evolving into a beautiful individual=)

ultimate beauty is the beauty that lies within..
and beauty within can only fluorish by the Grace of Allah..
ya Allah, make this Ramadhan means to alleviate us in Your Eyes!

=)

Allahumma Balighna Ramadhan!
Ya Allah..sampaikanlah kami pada Ramadhan=)=)

freedom of speech

2007-09-05T08:11:00.000+10:00

freedom of speech..

a theory that has always intrigued me..
i knew it was some form of liberal presumption
for human rights..or something along that line..

hence i decided to have a closer look
at the theoretical rationals to
have a clearer understanding of
its true nature..

my source: wikipedia! heheh=)

so apparently, this proposed theory
isnt just against coercing individuals
from living er, freely..
but there were some other justifications
made to support this theory..

my engineering knowledge didnt help much in
weighing the words i read..
but it was the Words of the All-Mighty
gave me much insight=)

i wont bore into the details, but i'd just like to share
my particular interest in this justification made:
"it promotes a marketplace of ideas, which includes, but is not limited to, the search for truth;"

Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote that "the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market, and that truth is the only ground upon which their wishes safely can be carried out."

i couldnt help but to think that this
guy was talking about Allah and Islam!!heheh..
i mean, seriously..
that Islam started to propagate from Allah
through ONE man (ie Muhammad SAW)..
but BECAUSE his words were THE BEST OF TRUTH it was
accepted in the market
(definition of market in this context includes time AND place!-ie
islam was accepted through hundreds of years and throughout the
world till now!!!-isnt that amazing??=) what truth
could be more thruthful than this??)

so Islam and the Quran have DEFINITELY survived
the test of truth!

and the latter part of of Holmes' writing said,
"that truth is the only ground upon which their wishes safely can be carried out"

what protection can surpass Al-Azim's Al-Jabbar's Protection??
NONE!

see, remember when Sumayyah was tortured to death
because she said, "Lailaha illalah?"
remember when Bilal was dragged into the desert
and burdened with boulders on his
chest but despite this repeatedly said
"ahad..ahad..ahad"?

Allah had instilled freedom of
speech in their hearts..
=)

Islam datang untuk menghapuskan penghambaan sesama manusia
kepada penghambaan pada Allah yg Maha Besar..Maha Kuasa=)

Penghambaan pada Allah is TOTALLY different from
other types of penghambaan (of course lah=p)

there's this ayat in sureah at-taghabun which goes
"and lend Allah a goodly load, and He will DOUBLE it
and FORGIVE you!! Allah is All-Appreciative!!"

ya Allah..dah laa rezeki Allah yang bagi..
but He intends to give something better in replacement!!!
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeettt!!!=')

huhu..
wikipedia tak quote plak
justifications that Allah has made in freedom of speech..
i mean, what quote would be honourable that
Allah's?? EXACTLY! none!!..

so nway, freedom of speech in Islam in my opinion
is something that Islam has encouraged since the
early of times..BUT not without a boundary..
ie that ONE should SPEAK nothing but the truth=)

simple..
(sbb pening jugak laa baca all the complex philosophy in
freedom of speech tu=/)

(3:95) Allah speaks truth
(4: 87)Who is more truthful than Allah
(3: 60)This is the truth from Allah -- be not of those who waver
(4:135) Oh You who believe! stand our firmly for justice, as witness
to Allah
(2: 42)Confound not truth with falsehood, nor knowingly conceal truth

and if in doubt of Allah's Words, then Allah simply says;
(2: 94)Then long for death if you are truthful

Rabbana la taj'al fitanatalliallazinakafaru..
Rabbana, make us not a fitnah to those who
are disbelievers..

Upon You we wish to return in Blessings..
Guide our hearts so that we may become muslims
true and through..

Amin ya Rabbal Alamin..

To start the day with the end in mind=)

2007-09-01T07:57:00.000+10:00

Ibn al-Qayyim’s beautiful description of Paradise.
Beautiful..seriously=)
sgt sgt sgt!!!!=)=)
may we be among those under His Shade
on the Day where there is no other Shade..
amin ya Rabbal Alamin=)

Ibn al-Qayyim said, in regards to the description of the Paradise and the delights that it contains:

“And if you ask about its ground and its soil, then it is of musk and saffron.

And if you ask about its roof, then it is the Throne of the Most Merciful.

And if you ask about its rocks, then they are pearls and jewels.

And if you ask about its buildings, then they are made of bricks of gold and silver.

And if you ask about its trees, then it does not contain a single tree except that its trunk is made of gold and silver.

And if you ask about its fruits, then they are softer than butter and sweeter than honey.

And if you ask about its leaves, then they are softer than the softest cloth.

And if you ask about its rivers, then there are rivers of milk who’s taste does not change, and rivers of wine that is delicious to those who drink it, and rivers of honey that is pure, and rivers of water that is fresh.

And if you ask about their food, then it is fruits from whatever they will choose, and the meat of whatever birds they desire.

And if you ask about their drink, then it is Tasneem, ginger, and Kaafoor.

And if you ask about their drinking cups, then they are crystal-clear and made of gold and silver.

And if you ask about its shade, then a fast rider would ride in the shade of one of its trees for a hundred years and not escape it.

And if you ask about its vastness, then the lowest of its people would have within his kingdom and walls and palaces and gardens the distance that would be travelled in a thousand years.

And if you ask about its tents and encampments, then one tent is like a concealed pearl that is sixty miles long.

And if you ask about its towers, then they are rooms above rooms in buildings that have rivers running underneath them.

And if you ask about how far it reaches into the sky, then look at the shining star that is visible, as well as those that are far in the heavens that the eyesight cannot possibly reach.

And if you ask about the clothing of its inhabitants, then they are of silk and gold.

And if you ask about its beds, then its blankets are of the finest silk laid out in the highest of its levels.

And if you ask about the faces of its inhabitants and their beauty, then they are like the image of the Moon.

And if you ask about their age, then they are young ones of 33 years in the image of Adam, the father of humanity.

And if you ask about what they will be hearing, then it is the singing of their wives from among the Hoor al-’Ayn, and better than that are the voices of the Angels and the Prophets, and better than that is the Speech of the Lord of the Worlds.

And if you ask about their servants, then they are young boys of everlasting youth who resemble scattered pearls.

And if you ask about their brides and wives, then they are young and full-breasted and have had the liquid of youth flow through their limbs; the Sun runs along the beauty of her face if she shows it, light shines from between her teeth if she smiles; if you meet her love, then say whatever you want regarding the joining of two lights; he sees his face in the roundness of her cheek as if he is looking into a polished mirror, and he sees the brightness from behind her muscles and bones; if she were to be unleashed upon the World, she would fill what is between the Heavens and the Earth with a beautiful wind, and the mouths of the creation would glorifiy, praise, and exclaim greatness, and everything between the East and the West would be adorned for her, and every eye would be shut from everthing but her, and the light of the Sun would be outshone just as the light of the Sun outshines the light of the stars, and everyone on the face of the Earth would believe in the Ever-Living, the One who Sustains and Protects all the exists.

And the covering on her head is better than the World and all that is in it, and she does not increase with age except in beauty; free from an umbilical cord, childbirth and menses, and pure of mucous, saliva, urine and other filthy things; her youth never fades, her clothing is never worn out, no garment can be created that matches her beauty, and no one who is with her can ever become bored; her attention is restricted to her husband, so she desires none but him, just as his attention is restricted to her so she is the sole object of his desire, and he is with her in utmost safety and security, as none has touched her before of either humans or Jinn.

And if you ask about the Day of Increase (in reward) and the visit of the all-Mighty, all-Wise, and the sight of His Face - free from any resemblance or likeness to anything - as you see the Sun in the middle of the day and the full Moon on a cloudless night, then listen on the day that the caller will call: ‘O People of Paradise! Your Lord - Blessed and Exalted - requests you to visit Him, so come to visit Him!’ So they will say: ‘We hear and obey!’

Until, when they finally reach the wide valley where they will all meet - and none of them will turn down the request of the caller - the Lord - Blessed and Exalted - will order His Chair to be brought there. Then, pulpits of light will emerge, as well as pulpits of pearls, gemstone, gold, and silver. The lowest of them in rank will sit on sheets of musk, and will not see what those who are on the chairs above them are given. When they are comfortable where they are sitting and are secure in their places, and the caller calls: ‘O People of Paradise! You have an appointment with Allaah in which He wishes to reward you!’ So they will say: ‘And what is that reward? Has He not already made our faces bright, made our scales heavy, entered us into Paradise, and pushed us away from the Fire?’

And when they are like that, all of a sudden a light shines that encompasses all of Paradise. So, they raise their heads, and, behold: the Compeller - Exalted is He, and Holy are His Names - has come to them from above them and majestified them and said: ‘O People of Paradise! Peace be upon you!’ So, this greeting will not be responded to with anything better than: ‘O Allaah! You are Peace, and from You is Peace! Blessed are You, O possessor of Majesty and Honor!’ So the Lord - Blessed and Exalted - will laugh to them and say: ‘O People of Paradise! Where are those who used to obey Me without having ever seen Me? This is the Day of Increase!’

So, they will all give the same response: ‘We are pleased, so be pleased with us!’ So, He will say: ‘O People of Paradise! If I were not pleased with you, I would not have made you inhabitants of My Paradise! So, ask of Me!’ So, they will all give the same response: ‘Show us your Face so that we may look at it!’ So, the Lord - Mighty and Majestic - will remove his covering and will majestify them and will cover them with His Light, which, if Allaah - the Exalted - had not Willed not to burn them, would have burned them.

And there will not remain a single person in this gathering except that his Lord - the Exalted - will speak to him and say: ‘Do you remember the day that you did this and that?’ and He will remind him of some of his bad deeds in the Worldy life, so he will say: ‘O Lord! Will you not forgive me?’ So, He will say: ‘Of course! You have not reached this position of yours (in Paradise) except by my forgiveness.’

So, how sweet is this speech to the ears, and how cooled are the righteous eyes by the glance at His Noble Face in the Afterlife…

{Some faces that Day will be shining and radiant, looking at their Lord…} (al-Qiyaamah:22-3)

[from Haadi al-Arwaah ilaa Bilaad il-Afraah by Ibn al-Qayyim, pg. 193]

its no coincidence.how can you deny?

2007-06-17T07:43:00.000+10:00

(surah ar-rahman)
which of the favours of Your Allah do u deny?
huhu..

we tend to judge Allah based NOT on the
millions of things He gave,
but the one thing that He did not give..

Afala tasykurun? ='(

controls

2007-06-15T06:50:00.000+10:00

hari ni ada paper..
control systems 1..
at 9am..

was doing some last minute revision..
when suddenly my islamicfinder window popped
out and kedengaranlah azan subuh..

suddenly caught myself drowning
in emotions..
hati sgt sgt rindu dgr azan 'live'

subhanallah
kat frank tate bile dgr,and masa tu tgh duduk
and menghayati,mmg boleh nangis..

panggilan apa yg lebih mulia and agong then those
beautiful stream of words?

Allahuakbar..
Allah is Most Great..ya Allah..
Most Great..Most Great..
Akbar..AllahuAkbar..
that none shud have a higher place in
heart that my Allah...NONE but Allah..
that the heart is a devine blessing from
Allah..
for it is the yearns and wants of the heart
that our actions translate..
a devine blessing..
does the heart not then deserve the
Best of the Best?
Truest of truth?
Purest of Pure?
Devine-est of devine?

Allahuakbar..

I bear witness that there is no Ilah but
Allah..and Muhammad is Allah's MEssenger..

straight forward..but subhanallah,
words that paint the gazillion and one
colours in one's life..
the soul kalimah that will bring
meaning to one's life..
ya Allah..
let this kalimah be the roots of my
life..
let this kalimah be the roots of my
life..
let it flourish in every single
inch of veins..of my soul..
tanak stand lain..
nak stand ni je..
ya Allah..
ya Allah..
give me strength to hold on firm
to this kalimah..indeed i have bore
witness again and again..
to You shall i return..
ya Allah..i beg You, guide me so that
i wud never violate this oath EVER..

ya Allah..
i want to return to You
in a state of Blessings..
ya Allah..nak sgt..
nakkk..
taknak lain..tanak neraka..
takmo.
taknakk='(
ya Allah..
tanak jalan lain selain dari
sirat-almustaqim..

ihdinassiratalmustaqqim ya Rahman..
ya Rahim..ya Wadud..

haiyya alassolahh..

ya Allah..
its like Allah answering the yearns of my heart..
tanak jalan lain..nak jln Allah..
nak redha Allah..
and suddenly, haiiya alassolah

its like Allah telling You..
"come to Me ya ibadi...come come..
let Me answer Your call..
let Me give you Blessings..
Let Me give you Strength..
let Me sustain your heart..
nourish it..."

ya Allah..
Most Gracious You are..
Ya Allah..that after ALL You have provided for us,
You still want to provide more..
more..
more..
more..
more..
more..
more..
ya Allah..
All praises are ONLY and ONLYYY for You..
only for You..
dear Allah..

haiyya ala' fallah..

like the kindling of flame in a
wet garden..
di kala nak exam ni..huhu..
la tahinu wala tahzanu...
la tahzan..inallaha ma'ana..

ya Allah..
terasa diri sgt lemah..
hina..
You give..more and more..
and more..
and more..
and more more more more more more more more more..

but ALL you ask, is so that we
follow the way You have ordained..
just so that in the end You can give us EVEN MORE..

ya Allah..
='(
words cannot express
how much i love You..
my heart seems to want to burst
from Your countless Grace..Blessings..

ya Allah..
ya Muqallibal Qulub..thabbit qulubana
ala dinik..wala ta'atik..

Lailaha illallah..
there is no Ilah but Allah..
there is NO ilah but Allah..

NONE..ZILCH..NADA..
but Allah..
Most High..
Most Merciful..
Most Loving...
Allah sahaja..
foerever and ever..

waaaaa!!
sgt syg Allah!!
ya Allah..
syg lah kami..

huhu..
by all the beautiful names You have
named Yourself,
guide us ya Rahman..
guide us to You..
never forsake us be it
a twinkling of an eye..
give us success herein and hereafter..

ya Allah..
ya Allah..

Road not taken

2007-06-09T08:10:00.000+10:00

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

my fluids assignment=)

2007-06-07T06:59:00.000+10:00

This was one of my assignments i had to do over the
sem for fluid mechanics, which i personally found fascinating=)

Those 2 blue dots are agitators
in a tank (tank=red circle) filled with some
fluid.

The black stuff in the middle are particles..
die particles..
1000 particles to be exact..
ONE THOUSAND ok!!
byk tau
=p

so purpose of this was to simulate the mixing
of this die..
(die as in not mati but die as in
mcm dakwat pen yg pekat gitu)

1000 particles of this die diletakkan kat tgh agitator tu..

This is at t=o..
-die just placed
-agitator off

This is at t=1
mixing of particles start!

this is at t=3

this is at t=5

this is at t=9

this is at t=12

huhu..
ni baru mixing of 1000 particles..
our lecturer was like,
"if you have access to a powerful computer,
try doin for 10,000 particles.."

on a normal comp,
simulation of a mere 10,000 particles may take
up to 5 days..

in the real world,
simulations may require millions of particles,
and may take up to a month to simulate..

which probably explains why my
fluids lecturer has TWO mac's
in his office!!

and to think that the
volume of water in the oceans is
1.37 billion cubic kilometers!!!
thats like INFINITY particles ok!!
but Allah says;

(23:18, 43:11) We send down water in measure --
(13: 17) He sends water from the sky so that valleys flow according to their measure --

Ya Allah..imagine He knows the location of EVERY SINGLE
particle of water at ALL TIMES!!
whoaaaaaa
*mind boggling*
mightiness beyond the human mind mann..

Ya Allah..indeed You are able to do All-Things..

(59:22-24)
He is Allah, than Whom there is no other God, the Knower of the Invisible and the Visible.
He is the Beneficent, Merciful.

He is Allah, than Whom there is no other God, the Sovereign Lord,
the Holy One, Peace, the Keeper of Faith, the Guardian,
the Majestic, the Compeller, the Superb. Glorified be Allah from
all that they ascribe as partner (unto Him).

He is Allah, the Creator, the Shaper out of naught,
the Fashioner. His are the most beautiful names.
All that is in the heavens and the earth
glorifieth Him, and He is the Mighty, the Wise.

nak simulate 1000 particles pon took
me a whoie night jugak laa..

and i didnt bother staying in front of my
laptop to see those ONE THOUSAND particles
nye movement..

tak larat laa kan..

(73: 20) He knows that you count it not --

huhu..
and to think that Allah keeps track of every single
particle,every single atom, every single
deeds, every single glorification every single
of EVERYTHING!!!

(72: 28) He keeps count of ALL things --
(65: 3) Allah hath set a measure for all things --

and not only keep track, keep measure,
but also guides..

(87: 1-5) Praise be name of Allah - Who measures then guides

sbb the movement of each and every thing is only
possible with the permission of the All-Mighty..

ya Allah..
indeed superior You are..
indeed Supreme You are..

(87:1-3)
Glorify the name of Your Lord, The Most High..
Who has created everything and
then proportioned it.
who has MEASURED THEN GUIDES;...

ya Allah..
soften our hearts with the rememberence
of Your Countless blessings

(16:18)If ye would count up the favours of Allah, never would ye be able to number them: for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

the bee and i=)

2007-06-05T06:34:00.001+10:00

people today are desperately in search of
fame and name...

you name it...doin weird stuff to get their names on Guiness
Books..starring in some of the world's weirdest
reality shows..stuffing one-self so to be labelled,
"World's fattest man"..

everyone yearns to be a leader-for with it comes
fame,name AND gain (wealth-wise)

(57:20) Know that your life of this world is only
play and amusement, mutual boasting among you
and rivalry in respect of wealth and children

That our lives become so evolved around these
that we forget the purpose of life..
the final destination of each and every soul..

(82:6) O man..what has made you careless of
abour Your Lord, Al-Karim (The Most Generous) ????

In every creation of The Most Generous, All-Mighty,
All-Knowing, there is a reminder..a trigger for reflection..

Allah has numerously mentioned in the Quran
that in His Creations there are indeed signs
for 'men of understanding'..

who's these 'men of understanding' ??

they are:
(3:191)Those who remember Allah standing, sitting,
and lying down on their sides, and think deeply
about the creation of the heavens and the earth,
(saying) ;
"Our Lord! You have NOT created
(all) these without purpose...
Glory to You
and save us from the torment of Hell-fire"

that these reflections of every of His creations
would none other, bring about awe in the Omnipotence,Power
and Knowledge of the Rabb, beyond comprehension..

and that realization would bring fear in every heart
as to the horrors of Hell if Allah is Able to do all things..
horrors also beyond imagination.

the other day,my friend made me ponder on
a creature of Al-Azim.

the bee..

a great example of wut may be an insignificant,humble
creation of the All-Mighty, but subhanallah,
holds a lot of reminders and lessons that we can take home..

that it is not fame and name that matters in life..
but it is the piety in the heart..

for it eats only that which is good..
it spreads only that is good..
producing the sweetest of sweets on earth
regardless the effort and hardwork required..

THIS is their way of life..
their deen.
and they stand FIRM to it..

just like that commanded by Allah in
(16:68-80)And Your Lord inspired the bees,
"...and follow the ways of Your Lord made easy for you.."

that they are beautiful creatures, who love beautiful things
but yet when their way of life is disturbed
(ie like having pooh bear taking all their honey and ruining their
hive), they act aggressively.. some dying in the cause..

that they become angry because of Allah,
for pooh just ruined the way of life that Allah has commanded them..

that these beautiful creatures
become stern when their deen is interfered..

hmm..
have we let the striving for fame
and the enjoyments of life
interfere with OUR deen?
OUR way of life?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rasulullah saw. bersabda, “Perumpamaan orang beriman itu bagaikan lebah. Ia
makan yang bersih, mengeluarkan sesuatu yang bersih, hinggap di tempat yang
bersih dan tidak merusak atau mematahkan (yang dihinggapinya) .” (Ahmad,
Al-Hakim, dan Al-Bazzar)

Seorang mukmin adalah manusia yang memiliki sifat-sifat unggul. Sifat-sifat itu membuatnya memiliki keistimewaan dibandingkan dengan manusia lain. Sehingga di mana pun dia berada, kemana pun dia pergi, apa yang dia lakukan, peranan dan tugas apa pun yang dia pikul akan selalu membawa manfaat dan maslahat(kebaikan) bagi manusia lain. Maka jadilah dia orang yang seperti dijelaskan Rasulullah saw., “Manusia paling baik adalah yang paling banyak memberikan manfaat bagi manusia lain.”

Untuk menjadikan kehidupan ini agar menjadi indah, menyenangkan, dan sejahtera sangat memerlukann manusia-manusia seperti itu. Dalam keadaan apa sekalipun, dia akan membuat yang terbaik; apa pun peranan dan tugas yang diberikannya, dia akan menjadi manusia dan keadaan di sekelilingnya menjadi bahagia dan sejahtera.

Maka, sifat-sifat yang baik itu antara lain terdapat pada lebah. Rasulullah saw. dengan pernyataanya dalam hadits di atas mengisyaratkan agar kita meniru sifat-sifat positif yang dimiliki oleh lebah.

Tentu saja, sifat-sifat itu sendiri memang merupakan ilham dari Allah swt. seperti yang Dia firmankan, “Dan Rabbmu mewahyukan (mengilhamkan) kepada lebah: ‘Buatlah sarang-sarang di bukit-bukit, di pohon-pohon kayu, dan di tempat-tempat yang dibikin manusia. Kemudian makanlah dari tiap-tiap (macam) buah-buahan dan tempuhlah jalan Rabbmu yang telah dimudahkan (bagimu).’ Dari perut lebah itu keluar minuman (madu) yang bermacam-macam warnanya, di dalamnya terdapat obat yang menyembuhkan bagi manusia. Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat tanda (kebesaran Rabb) bagi orang-orang yang memikirkan.” (An-Nahl: 68-69)

Sekarang, bandingkanlah apa yang dilakukan lebah dengan apa yang seharusnya dilakukan oleh seorang mukmin, contohnya seperti ini:

1. Hinggap di tempat yang bersih dan menghirup apa hanya yang bersih sahaja.

Lebah hanya hinggap di tempat-tempat terpilih sahaja. Lebah sangat jauh berbeza dengan lalat. Lalat sangat mudah ditemui di tempat sampah, kotoran, dan tempat-tempat yang berbau busuk. Tapi lebah, ia hanya akan mendatangi bunga-bunga atau buah-buahan atau tempat-tempat bersih yang mengandungi bahan madu atau nektar.
Begitulah pula sifat seorang mukmin. Allah swt. berfirman:

Hai manusia, makanlah yang halal lagi baik dari apa yang terdapat di bumi dan janganlah kamu mengikuti langkah-langkah syaitan; karena sesungguhnya syaitan adalah musuh yang nyata bagimu. (Al-Baqarah: 168)

(Yaitu) orang-orang yang mengikut Rasul, Nabi yang ummi yang (namanya) mereka dapati tertulis di dalam Taurat dan Injil yang ada di sisi mereka, yang menyuruh mereka mengerjakan yang ma’ruf dan melarang mereka dari mengerjakan yang mungkar dan menghalalkan bagi mereka segala yang baik dan mengharamkan bagi mereka segala yang buruk dan membuang dari mereka beban-beban dan belenggu-belenggu yang ada pada mereka. Maka orang-orang yang beriman kepadanya, memuliakannya, menolongnya dan mengikuti cahaya yang terang yang diturunkan kepadanya (Al-Qur’an), mereka itulah orang-orang yang beruntung. (Al-A’raf: 157)

2. Mengeluarkan yang bersih.

Siapa yang tidak tahu madu lebah. Semuanya tahu bahawa madu mempunyai khasiat yang banyak untuk kesihatan manusia. Tapi dari organ tubuh manakah keluarnya madu itu? Itulah salah satu keistimewaan lebah. Lebah sangat kaya dengan kebaikan,sedangkan dari organ tubuh pada binatang lain, mereka hanya mengeluarkan sesuatu yang menjijikan.
Begitu juga seorang mukmin, kita haruslah menjadi manusia yang produktif dengan kebaikan. “Hai orang-orang yang beriman, rukuklah kamu, sujudlah kamu, sembahlah Rabbmu dan perbuatlah kebajikan (khair), supaya kamu mendapat kemenangan.” (Al-Hajj: 77)

Al-khair adalah kebaikan atau kebajikan. Akan tetapi al-khair dalam ayat di atas bukan merujuk pada kebaikan dalam bentuk ibadah ritual. Sebab, perintah ke arah ibadah ritual sudah terwakili dengan kalimat “rukuklah kamu, sujudlah kamu, sembahlah Rabbmu” (irka’u, wasjudu, wa’budu rabbakum). Al-khair di dalam ayat itu justru bermakna kebaikan atau kebajikan yang buahnya dirasakan oleh manusia dan makhluk lainnya.

Segala yang keluar dari dirinya adalah kebaikan. Hatinya jauh dari prasangka buruk, iri, dengki; lidahnya tidak mengeluarkan kata-kata kecuali yang baik; perilakunya tidak menyengsarakan orang lain melainkan justru membahagiakan; hartanya bermanfaat bagi banyak manusia; kalau dia berkuasa atau memegang amanah tertentu, dimanfaatkannya untuk sebesar-besar kemanfaat manusia.

3. Tidak pernah merosakkan

Seperti yang disebutkan dalam hadits yang sedang kita bahas ini, lebah tidak pernah merosak atau mematahkan ranting yang dia hinggapi. Begitulah seorang mukmin. Dia tidak pernah melakukan kerosakan dalam apa-apa hal sekalipun: baik secara fizikal mahupun tidak.. Bahkan dia melakukan pembaikan akidah, akhlak, dan ibadah dengan cara berdakwah. Mengubah kezaliman apa pun bentuknya dengan cara berusaha menghentikan kezaliman itu.
Bekerja keras
Lebah adalah pekerja yang bekerja keras. Ketika muncul pertama kali dari biliknya (saat “menetas”), lebah pekerja membersihkan bilik sarangnya untuk telur baru dan setelah berumur tiga hari ia memberi makan larva, dengan membawakan serbuk sari madu. Dan begitulah, hari-harinya penuh semangat berkarya dan beramal. Bukankah Allah pun memerintahkan umat mukmin untuk bekerja keras? “Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain.” (Alam Nasyrah: 7)
Kerja keras dan semangat pantang berundur itu lebih-lebih lagi dituntut lagi dalam menegakkan keadilan. Karena, meskipun memang ramai manusia yang cinta keadilan, namun kebanyakan manusia –kecuali yang mendapat rahmat Allah– tidak suka jika dirinya rugi dalam menegakkan keadilan.

4. Bekerja secara jama’i dan tunduk pada satu pimpinan

Lebah selalu hidup dalam koloni besar, tidak pernah menyendiri. Mereka pun bekerja secara kolektif, dan masing-masing mempunyai tugas sendiri-sendiri. Ketika mereka mendapatkan sumber sari madu, mereka akan memanggil teman-temannya untuk menghisapnya. Demikian pula ketika ada bahaya, seekor lebah akan mengeluarkan feromon (suatu zat kimia yang dikeluarkan oleh binatang tertentu untuk memberi isyarat tertentu) untuk mengudang teman-temannya agar membantu dirinya. Itulah seharusnya sikap orang-orang beriman. “Sesungguhnya Allah menyukai orang-orang yang berperang di jalan-Nya dalam barisan yang teratur seakan-akan mereka seperti suatu bangunan yang tersusun kokoh.” (Ash-Shaff: 4)

5. Tidak pernah melukai kecuali kalau diganggu
Lebah tidak pernah memulakan serangan. Ia akan menyerang hanya manakala apabila terasa diganggu atau terancam. Dan untuk mempertahankan “kehormatan” umat lebah itu, mereka rela mati dengan melepas sengatnya di tubuh pihak yang diserang. Sikap seorang mukmin: musuh tidak dicari. Tapi jika ada, tidak lari.
Itulah beberapa karakter lebah yang patut ditiru oleh orang-orang beriman. Bukanlah sia-sia Allah menyebut-nyebut dan mengabadikan binatang kecil itu dalam Al-Quran sebagai salah satu nama surah: An-Nahl. Allahu a’lam

taken from: http://mengemiskasih.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/marimenjadisepertilebah/

2007-05-31T08:54:00.000+10:00

the world at ur fingertips they say
when they talk about the internet..

despite being thousands of km's away from home,
lina joy's story is THE issue at the mo..

insyaAllah in everything that happens,
there is a reminder for us..

a friend's comment on the matter really made
me ponder.."apakah isu yg lebih penting?
isu sekeping ID? atau seorang muslim?"

alhamdulillah today we are muslims..
the greatest gift Allah could give to anyone..
subhanallah..all praises to Him,
Lord of The Alamin..

kul: inni akhafullahu rabbal alamin..
say: verily i fear the Lord of the Alamin..

who can guarantee that we shall wake
up as muslims tomorrow?

(16:106-107) Whoever disbelieve in Allah
after his belief...on them is wrath from
Allah, and theirs will be a great torment..

THAT IS BECAUSE THEY LOVED and PREFERRED the
LIFE OF THIS WORLD over that of the HEREAFTER..

tanya hati..tanya iman..
do WE prefer this world than the hereafter?

adakah islam kita di hati?
atau sekadar kat ic?

Allah has bestowed upon us the greatest grace, Islam..
ya Allah..a grace so beautiful, so great..
do not let us be among those whom take this
gracious gift for granted..
make our hearts rest in faith..
make our hearts find rest in Your Holy Words..
make us die as muslims..
make us a die in a good state..

(16:32) "Those whose lives the angels
take while they are in a pious state
saying "Assalamualaikum! enter you paradise
because of what you used to do..."

ya Allah..
let these hearts find rest in You
and You alone...

ya Muqallibal qulub..thabbit qulubana ala dinik..
wala taa'atik..

wrappin up 1st sem of 3rd year

2007-05-25T15:56:00.000+10:00

time flies..
seems like yesterday i was late to my
first lecture of the semester...

and at 12pm today, i stepped out of my last
lecture of the semester..

ironic..

nwayz,this sem was like a dirac delta function..
the impact of each and every occurence
in this seemingly small time interval of the sem-
ie highly localized actions in time-has brought about
a low damped second order system response within me..
insyaAllah a stable state system so akan stable
as time approaches er..hopefully
in the near future..

what am i crappin

heheh..still in controls mode..
was pulun-ing the night before to
catch the due date which was afternoon tadi..

but tu laa..interesting to see the frequency
response of a second order system to be like
my response to everything that has happened to me
throughout this sem..

this year around has taught me much..

essentially that life is all about the journey,
sbb the final destiny is certain..

that there's always two ways in approaching
any goal..both ways may reach you to that goal,
but one shall be blessed more than the other..

and which way you choose, would heavily depend
on your stand, your faith...
and the relationship between the heart and the
Most Gracious Allah..

and that dependence on Allah is all the time..
be it, which way to choose,
having the strength to stay in that chosen way..
or more importantly,to be able
to have the right goals in life..

Allahumma anta 'adudi..
wa'wanta nas'iri..

ya Allah, You are my strength..
You are my support..

2007-05-22T22:02:00.000+10:00

my mom = my bestest friend ever!
=)

thank You Allah..
for giving me the bestest mom
on earth!
=)

i love you,umi=)

appreciating

2007-04-22T14:07:00.000+10:00

this is a MUST-listen=> appreciating
by outlandish..

that knocking on the door

2007-04-17T06:39:00.000+10:00

(2:19) Or like a rainstorm from the
sky, wherein is darkness, thunder, and lightening. They thrust their fingers in their ears to keep out the stunning thunderclap for fear of death.. But Allah ever encompasses the disbelievers.."

The likeness of ppl who disbelieve is like
when there is a lightening, they quickly
shut their eyes..

they close their eyes so they
dont see the lightning anymore..
trying to convince themselves that
there is no lightning when their heart
knows otherwise..
they seal their sight from the magnificence
and splendour of the lightning,

they close their ears tight so that they
do not hear the mighty thunderclap..but fact is the
thunderclap still occurs, wherein they know,
but they have chosen to seal their hearing..

when the Light of guidance of Allah comes upon their hearts,
they shut their hearts tight as
to shield their hearts from the splendour and magnificence of His Light...

when the Words of gudiance comes upon their ears,
they close their ears tight as
to shield their hearts from the Mighty Words of Allah ...

(71:7) (Nabi Nuh said to his ppl:)
"And verily, everytime i called unto them,
they thrust their fingers into their ears,
covered themselves up with their
garments and persisted (in their refusal)
and magnified themselves in pride.."

Fact is, nonetheless, Allah the Omnipotent
will always be ever encompassing them..

(2:115) And to Allah belong the east and west,
so wherever you turn, there is the Face of Allah.
Surely He is All-Sufficient for His creatures'
needs, All-Knowing..

sometimes our hearts are moved to do something which is good..
but we tend to delay, or make the current state we're in
as an excuse to not do it..

my friend once told me that a friend of hers
once told her, (confuse ke?heheh)
that it came upon her heart to wear hijab...
but she was harboured with doubts..
a lot of unforeseen circumstances were
haunting her mind..

and somebody told her,
"Allah has shone His Light to Your heart to
do something which is good.. it is like
Allah is knocking at the door of your heart,
wanting to shine that blessed Devine Light of His..
it is up to you whether or not you
want to answer that door..but it may be that
you would never hear that knocking ever again.."

when the Light of guidance has come, let us open the
door to our hearts as wide as we can..
let us not be like;
(67:23) "It is HE who has created you
and endowed you with hearing, and seeing, and hearts..
Little thanks do you give!"

it is a Mighty blessing that He bestowed upon
us Islam as our way of life..
Let us be thankful by answering that knock
on the door=)

May Allah give us strength to adhere to His Holy Deen..
Ya Muqallibal qulub, thabbit qulubana aladiinik wala ta'atik..

Allah knows Best=)

the nafs

2007-04-13T18:54:00.000+10:00

a lil something i learnt from a dear friend=);

the nafs is like a camera..

when taking photos, we only
choose to take what we think
is pretty or interesting..

then we edit those photos
so that it'd look exactly
like we want it to..

we tend to choose what is
convenient to follow in
Islam, and neglect the rest..
then we 'edit' it so that
Islam is as what we want..

(75:20-21)
Nay!but you love the present life
of this world..

And neglect the Hereafter..

(68:36-40)
What is the matter with u?
How judge u?

Or have you a Book wherein
have all that u choose?

That you shall therein have all that
you choose?

Or have you oaths from Us, reaching the
Day of Resurrection, that yours will be what
you judge?

indeed unto Allah shall we return..
may we return to Allah in the state;

(69:19)
Then for him who will be given his Record
in his right hand will say:
"Here!!!!!!!
read my Record!!!=)"

the knowledge that we have
compared to Allah's is like
droplets sipped by a bird from the vast sea..

may Allah grant us forgiveness
and make us among the al-abrar..
unto Him belongs the Dominion of
the heavens and the earth..
Glory to Him, worthy of All-Praises..

Allah knows Best..

shahadah

2007-03-15T00:29:00.000+11:00

today was the best day everrr!!

Allah gave me the opportunity
to witness this girl say the shahadah!!!

it was SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEETT!!!

huhu.
nak tgk org mengucap lagi..

amazing

2007-03-12T12:21:00.000+11:00

a·maze /əˈmeɪz/ a·mazed, a·maz·ing, noun –verb (used with object)

1. to overwhelm with surprise or sudden wonder; astonish greatly.

the last 2 weekends were AMAZING!=)

ya Allah..
i thank You for bringing me to Phillip
Island and Great Ocean Road!!=)
indeed what You showed me were
sooo breath-takingly amazingly cantik sgttt..
the scenery was just beautiful!
magnificent!!indeed every inch of Your Creations
were glorifying You..Magnifying You..
Magnifying Your Power, Your Knowledge,
Your Love towards us..

the waves slamming itself on the rocks-
the mighty sun setting to give way to the
moon..

all Your creations that filled my eyes
were indeed more complex in creation than i..
but never did they cease to
to do as You ask..

ya Allah..
may You give me strength patience
and firmness to adhere to Your Holy Words
just like the the sea and the sun=)

indeed unto You shall we return..
may we return in a state of Your
blessings..

F = ma

2007-03-06T00:26:00.000+11:00

i was in this heat transfer lecture when my
lecturer gave wut i thought to be an
interesting insight..

isaac newton was sittin under an apple
tree when this apple fell on his head..

there were 2 possible reactions as a consequence of
this lil incident..he could've;

a) swore,crushed and kicked the poor apple

b) ponder on what happened and
come up with F=ma

he chose the latter..
and look where it brought him!
fame till the end of time..

if an apple or anything fell on our heads,
how wud we react?
(a) or (b)?

Allah said in (3:200)"O You who believe! endure
and be MORE patient..."

and insyaAlah Allah will reward us with
something manifolds more beautiful and
meaningful than fame even after centuries of
expiry ~ syurga=)

insyaAllah..

(3:190) indeed in the creation of
heavens and the earth, and in the
alternation of night and day,there
are signs for men of understanding..

t.o.r.n.

2007-02-25T14:27:00.000+11:00

my flight's tonight..

mixed emotions..

i miss melbourne..
i miss a lot of things in melb..

but im also startin to miss msia..
my family..my darlin friends..
milo, iej, joey, mubs...
just to name a few..

but ultimately, im gona
miss watchin afnan grow..
naughty as he is, im gona miss him
so much..
next time i'll see him
he'd probably be in standard 1,
and of course he'll be all macho man..

tak rock aa kan to be caught huggin
a big sister=p

(signs of macho-manness: cries sbb tanak pergi
kinder.and as soon as we reach the school
he goes,"umi.dont tell the teacher i cried ok?")

i have this feelin that
melb wud be different from my previous years..
one of my bestest girlfriends chose not
to continue studyin in melb..

suddenly caught myself reminiscing..
all those sleepless nights tryin to finish
our design projects, thenceforth walking around uni
like zombies with huge black eyebags
(tho my eyebags were forever existent=p)
the sushi making nights during peak stress
periods..
with extra wasabi and extra of everything inside..
the sushi's we made mustve been
the biggest on earth!!=p
and trust me..its not easy to maintain
coolness after a globful of wasabi=)
and those wonderful ice cream trips after exams..

no more 3 stooges='(
i am sooo gona miss her..

dear friend,
i hope you find happiness that
you didnt find in our course..
i thank Allah for crossing our paths..
i love you, girl..
big time..