randomnization

Salam=)

just finished my consultation with my supervisor..
things are starting to not go the way we thought it would..
but i guess thats research
=)

alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..
im grateful that we know what the root of the problem is,
and now in attempt to fully grasp and understand the nature of the problem, before we can proceed..

ya Allah, grant us understanding of Your Knowledge..
=)

if there's one thing ive learnt throughout my academic life (especially my undergrad) is that understanding the root of the problem is extremelyyyy important.. hehe.. being the me I am, of course i had to learn this the hard way=p
many a times did I end up facing larger problems due to incomplete comprehension..

just like life.

the way to deal with AIDS from spreading is not by providing boxes in public toilets to dispose their syringes, but to understand that the root of the problem is the iman in the heart.

its interesting how the sahabah could give up alcohol, something so intricately interwoven in their lives, when they embraced Islam and Allah made iman enter their hearts.

May Allah grant us imanan kaamila..
May Allah grant us all goodness herein and hereafter
=)

ps: i miss afnan and umi and ayah=(
pps: i miss my fightersz as well=(
ppps: wannyy's coming to melbourne sooon!!!=)

atok..

(15:23) Dan sungguh, Kamilah yang menghidupkan dan mematikan dan Kami (pulalah) yang mewarisi..

dear Allah,
Thank You for giving me a wonderful grandfather..
I couldnt have asked for more..

the night my dad called me to relate his demise,
i opened the quran, making prayer to Allah to strengthen me with His Words..
Allah Taala guided my hands to open to this beautiful verse:

(13:23) (iaitu) syurga Adn, mereka masuk ke dalam nya bersama dengan org yang saleh dari nenek moyangnya, pasangannya, dan anak cucunya...

ya Allah..indeed You have been ever dear to me..

may the return of atok to You be in a state of Your Redha..
ya Ghafur, grant him forgiveness from You..
ya Rahim, have mercy on him and grant him jannah..

Al-Fatihah..

choices

Kisah Yusuf Alaihissalam..

between zulaikha and being thrown in the well,
which of the 2 tests is greater?

a commentary on sura Yusuf by Amru khalid,
the test of him facing zulaikha was greater as he was facing his own nafs,
and on top of that, he had a choice..

whereas, he did not have a choice when he was thrown in a well..



subhanallah..
choices laid out in front of us, are tests..

tests to see which of us are grateful to Allah SWT..
and which of us will be best in deeds..

Allah knows best..

hilang suara

i just came back from my tafsir class tonight.

sitting beside me this evening were 5 new girls clad in the same black hijab and dark red abaya. apparently our ustaz has his own madrasah, and these girls were actually his students..

i started to talk to the girl right beside me, when the girl next to her said to me,

"akak.. dia hilang suara.."

i went, "oh ye ke..macamana boleh hilang?"

"dia baca quran.."


subhanallah..


baca quran sampai hilang suara?



i envy her. i do, i really do.
to feel such sweetness, to get soo addicted to the Words of All-Mighty Allah to that extent..
subhanallah. how i yearn to feel the same..




ya Allah, make the quran the spring of our hearts,
the banisher of our sadness..
and the reliever of our distress..

afnan and his personal tutors

afnan's having his exams esok.
BM and agama paper.
my mom and I yg stress..
hehe

me: Afnan, who is Ummu Aiman to Muhammad?
afnan:his babysitter! his.. em, peng..penga..pe..
me (in my mind): he's gettin it!! alhamdulilah!! yayy! (after having him repeat the word 'pengasuh' several times)
afnan: pegantin?
me: +_+

me: Apakah kemahiran yang Muhammad dapat di desa Bani Saad?
afnan: em..meng..mengem..mengembala masyarakat??

=/

me: Apakah 5 perkara membatalkan wudhu'?
afnan: em..mengeluarkan qubul dan dubur
@_@

umi: apakah rukun Islam?
afnan: 2 kalimah shahadah, solat, puasa.. zza..zzii..zzzzzzz..em.. z..

my mom had to make him say the word 'zakat' 50 times..


Teringat kata2 Nabi Yaakub dalam sura Yusuf bila berdepan dengan anak2 nya, "fasabruun jamiil"

kemudian bersabar lah dengan sabar yang cantik =)


Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..

oh dear.

i was installing linux very very late last night and i think i wiped vista off my laptop
=/

I had a premonition this'd happen..
lesson learnt, dont do things that might have significant impact on your future when ur sleepy +_+

it was only this morning, in a fresher state of mind, did it hit me i shud've installed linux in my virtual pc instead of trying to double-boot-it'd be simpler for me to handle my files and do my matlab stuff, being able to work between both vista and ubuntu at the same time..and that in my sleepiness, i didnt partition the disc properly=/


but anyway, isnt sleep amazing?
i mean, at the end of each day, our minds our body everything - is in this weary state. tired, exhausted.heading for fatigue failure due to cyclic stresses throughout the day =p

*waja'alnaa naumakum subataa (An-naba')
And We have made sleep for you, to rest

and subhanallah, by Allah's Grace and Mercy, when we wake up we're in this totally opposite condition=) all fresh and ready to start the dayyy!!=)=)

*fabiayyii alaai rabbikuma tukadh'ibaan (Ar-Rahman)
and which of the favours of your Rabb do you deny=)

terlalu byk nikmat Allah pada kita, kan..
ya Allah jadikan lah kami hamba yang bersyukur..




alhamdulillah ala kulli hal ^_^

mencari ketenangan hati

ever had those moments?
when ur heart and mind is bursting with a million and one feelings..
compelled to talk to someone, but the words- so difficult to string together..

so you choose to walk to the nearest washroom..
take wudhu..

and do 2 rakaat of prayers..

a conversation so intimate with the One who created this very heart..
Who understands your very feeling..
every single one..
Seseorang hamba paling dekat dengan Tuhannya ketika dalam sujudnya..
tears of joy..of happiness..
tears of maybe minute dissapointment..
tears of hope..
tears, begging to be led, to be guided..
because at that very moment, the soul's lost.. and hungry for light..

at the end of your prayer, you give salam..
"assalamualaikum warahmatullah"

then there's that surge of peace..
of relief..

you fold that sejadah knowing you just had the best conversation EVER..
=)

i love You, Allah..
thank You for teaching me how to pray=)

by the moon

(Al-Muddatthir, 74:22-24)
Nay! By the moon
And by the night when it withdraws
And by the dawn when it brightens

For a minute, let us clear our minds and imagine this beautiful image Allah has painted in the aforementioned verses.

The overwhelming beauty of the full moon, as it embellishes the darkest of nights.. though not pleading to be awed, it's inexplicable splendour is marvelled by all eyes that lay upon it - the hearts mesmerized hence its inscription in millions of poems, writings and masterpieces throughout time.

slowly the thick night gives way to dawn, – as if curtains withdrawn to reveal - to reveal something of much spectacular in creation, in beauty..a thread of light – whispering 1001 secrets to the heart, impelling a million and one feelings into the soul – before it strengthens in radiance, illuminating the day..


The thick darkness of the night, like the heart when engrossed with ignorance and evil – forgetting our purpose of creation.. forgetting that one day we shall return to our creator..

Nay! By the moon! – in the darkest of nights did Allah’s beautiful reminder come, shining as bright as the full moon in the middle of the night, a reminder to His beloved creations so that He may enter us into His Jannah where we may be well-pleased. Open the Quran, and you will find its beauty enthralling! the hearts of those who believe will just melt in awe due to its magnificence and exquisiteness.. look at His Messenger SAW! His examples, subhanallah..

And by the night when it withdraws, And by the dawn as it brightens - for those who withdraw from disobedience, accepts His Reminder, then Allah will indeed guide them.. And there is nothing that can be compared to Allah’s Guidance, for it is as true and as strong as the light that illuminates the day..

Like the great sahaba, Umar Al-Khattab RA. Darkness - before Islam came to him. But Subhanallah, how strong he stood when he embraced iman – his attributes and his stories, luminous till this very day.

Not later. Not tomorrow. Let us embrace Allah’s reminder now.
Before its too late.

(91:9-10) Indeed he succeeds who purifies himself
And indeed he fails who corrupts his own self

2 sides of a coin

There's this saying by Publilius Syrus (~100BC),

"a rolling stone gathers no moss"

The first time i came across it, i thought it meant - if you keep yourself busy, keep your mind working - your brain wont grow mushrooms, or deplete - or something to that extent.

But the intended meaning is actually; a person who is always on the move, and not able to stay at one place for long enough will not be able to make much friends.

2 sides of a coin.
Our perspective of things really are dependent on how we look at it and are often influenced by our experience and surroundings.

i guess in this case, the fact that im mengaggur-ing, and in need to keep myself busy; and my negativity towards moss, kulats and anything of its brethren has influenced me to interpret the aforementioned maxim as such=)

difference in thoughts, in perceptions are common.
there's gazillion ways to look at a single thing..

hence, let us ask Allah that He grants us Hidayah upon looking at things the ways He wants us to..

while some perceive hijab as a form of liberation, others think it is opression.
while some feel sujud is a beautiful form of submission, others think that it is degrading.

it is all a matter of opinion.
hence, neraca apa yg kita guna untuk menilai sesuatu?

Biarlah fikiran, perbuatan, segala dalam hati dan amal kita menggunakan neraca Allah.
let us sungguh-sungguh mohon sangat sangat pada Allah Taala that He gives us the ability to judge between right and wrong; Furqan.. and act upon it..

(8:29) O you who believe! If you obey and fear Allah, He will grant you Furqan, and will expiate for you your sins, and forgive you.. and Allah is Owner of Great Bounty..

Kejayaan sebenar hanyalah dalam ketaqwaan kita pada Allah, ketaatan pada rasulNya dan keberadaan kita dalam syariatNya.

tribute to ayah=)

i was dissecting my mom's thesis which she wrote 18 years ago; when i came across her acknolwedgement bit

"A special note of thanks to Fatimah, Huseyn Ali and Askaree, my three children who, albeit grudgingly, let mum get on with her work (most of the times)..."

=)=)=)
heee..we love you too, umi!!=)

"Last but not least, to my husband Dzahar who has been tremendously patient and supportive throughout these years, Jazakallah-khair. In the end, it would all not have been possible without him.."

today is ayah's birthday.
i wanted to give him something so badly, but i personally didnt know what. there's nothing in this worldly world that can ever add up to all that he has done for us.

afnan didnt have that problem nontheless..as a gift to my dad - he memorized sifir 5=)

i remembered the conversation i had with ayah once in the car. i was telling him about my interest in persuing postgrad, and he was totally happy, told me how much he loved research, and loved his job in melbourne back then.

"but then you decided to come back to malaysia?" i asked my dad.
and he simply said along the lines of, "well, i had to make sure my kids get good islamic education.." (his kids back then were showing signs of extreme naughtiness, which was maybe rather disturbing=p)

i think my father always had this ability to motivate me-in his own very very special way.. we always always had this little competetive thing going on..

i remembered someone asked me back in intec, "why did you choose melbourne university?"
it didnt take me long to answer. all this while my dad always said that melbourne uni suka eksyen and that MU called his uni, 'the university down the road'
so from that day on, i just knew i had to go Melb uni.
=)

(huhu..mungkin kah masih belum terlambat utk betulkan niat?=p)


just before he went off to work this morning, i looked at him.
there was so much in the heart. all that he's done. all that he has sacrificed..
felt as if my heart was ready to explode..
but, all i could say was a lame, "happy birthday, ayah"
shouldve seen his face. he was so happy. i felt like crying.

(14:40) Rabbana, cover (us) with Thy forgiveness - me, my parents and all the believers, on the day that the Reckoning will be established.

ya Allah, love my parents more than they ever loved me.. bestow upon the mercy from You..and i beg you to grant them all the goodness herein and hereafter..

only Allah can reward you, ayah..
Happy birthday..