QLC: quarter life crisis

which flower in the bouquet do you like best?=)
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we are required to make decisions every day in life.

what time should i wake up? what should i wear today? where do i want to fill my car's fuel this morning? etc etc..

but at some points in life, we're required to make decisions in which the repercussions are beyond us..and will change the course of our entire life ahead..

quarter life crisis - psychologists call it..

Looking at our job an thinking it's not even close to what we thought we would be doing.. or maybe we're looking for one and realized that we're going to have to start from the bottom. Suddenly we miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. We start to worry about the future..who are we going to marry? if there's no one on mind, when will we get married? if we've someone on mind, is he/she the right one? if married, then theres this financial rooted-stress and the perpetual question, will it then affect the children? there's this feeling that everyone is doing better than us.. questions of where are we heading in life?

(and the list goes on..)

ubiquitous as much as it is intangible..Unrelenting indecision, isolation, confusion..

whatever it is, in this phase of life, theres this sense of unsettling insecurity and well.. its just overwhelming..

i mean, how do you decide on something that's seemingly larger than life, but not have any knowledge of whats going to happen if you do choose?
or not choose for that matter..

there must be about a gazillion of possibilities from each option we have..

certainly the future is not for us to see..

so alhamdulillah, i am ever grateful to my Allah that at this point of time, i am a muslim (and my prayers that He makes us all muslims till the end)..because my Allah holds the key of the unseen..He has all knowledge of the past, present
..and the future..

the power of trust when reliance is totally in Allah is so beautiful and itself a strength..

the story of Nabi Musa AS comes to mind.. when the whole army of Firaun was approaching, death seemingly getting nearer by the second..and all the people with Nabi Musa losing faith in him, demotivingly saying that they'll be caught for sure.. calmly Musa AS said,

(26:62).."Nay, verily with me is my Rabb. He will SURELY guide me"

THAT was when Allah revealed for Musa AS to strike the sea with his stick. And Allah gave him a way out, a solution, beyond our minds..

the power of reliance in Allah. the power of tawakaltu alallah=)

so if there's any worry or fear, drop everything take wudhu' and make solat..
its good for the heart=)
and the peace of mind..
no kidding=)

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and so, i chose that red rose from all the other flowers..

why?

i cant really explain,
but may it be a choice guided by Allah Taala=)

may all our decisions be decisions guided by Allah Taala..

weddings:)

(2:187) they (your wives) are garments for you and you are garments for them

garments are not held together by a few big knots but by thousand little stitches of thread..
it is not the large amount in the hantaran but it is the accumulation of small words and little acts each day that make up this garment..

the point of a garment is to provide warmth, protection and decency..
any scar or imperfection of any form on the body is kept hidden beneath the garment.

marriage will reveal one's true colours-like that imperfection on the body- but may the faith in Him keep our hearts strong to continue stitching and embroidering beautiful words and acts despite circumstances.

there's a part of my friend's nikah khutbah that I found really interesting. the imam told us that the arabic word used to describe spouse is 'zauj' and it lexically implies one of the pair as in - like say gloves - there is always a left and a right. different: the left is not the same as the right, but when paired - it will be more useful. or to accentuate the importance, like the wings of a bird. it may take some time for the left and right wings to synchronize-after all the baby bird can not fly upon birth- but once they are able to, it'd make the bird soar high up in the sky=)

marriage will reveal our differences.
our taste in clothes or food, or even the way we use our time - everything that our spouses do will affect us.
the garment he/she may be stitching for us may not be to our preference, hence, may Allah give the ability to be true to each other such such to taylor garments according to both sides' liking..

two heads are better than one - an emphasis of the value of asking for opinions and the power of discussion in generating creative solutions with a partner who may support and complement our skills and understanding.

(2:187) they are garments for you and you are garments for them =)

to my dearest friends who have/will get married especially to my most dearest ieja, syaheed, mardhiyyah pauzii, nur faiz, mazura mamat, paan, nadiah wahid, linda ismail, mukerq, k.nik, k.mel, pushieee, izza id, zarith helina lynn, buyekk (oh dear.. terlalu ramai if nak list kan=p)...

BarakAllahu laka, wa baraka 'alayk, wa-jama'a baynakuma fi-khair
May Allaah bless for you (your spouse) and bless you, and may He unite both of you in goodness.

owhh, and to those who have/will get engaged! (especially org yg tunang on the 26th, 27th dec and 1st jan 2010) may Allah make ease all that is best for you deen!
=)

and to those very fortunate guys who are marrying my wonderful friends, make sure you take good care of them!=)

Abu Hurairah (radhiallâhu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (sallallâhu ‘alayhi wasallam) said: “Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.” (Tirmidhi 278, 628, 3264 and Abu Dawud)

=)

know.ledge

"Intermediate sequences increase the detection of homology beween sequences"

while my eyes seemingly try to burn holes through this journal paper, my thoughts are elsewhere..

This! comes into mind!!!

hehe..i know, i know... its got nothin to do with homology or sequencing.. but anyhow, this was the first picture shown in our fluid mechanics 2 class back in 3rd year..

Notice the diamonds coming out from the exhaust plume of the SR-71?
=)

its called shock diamonds!

and its produced by overexpansion and compression of flow as it exits the nozzle at supersonic speed at high pressure difference..

or something to that effect..

it took us a whole semester to study this phenomenon. but subhanallah, to study flight is one thing, but to study the phenomenon due to flight is another..

a colleague of mine gave his phd completion presentation yesterday on tryin to detect and control separation point on airfoils - which involved supercomputers and not to mention 4 years of his life. Even so, he was limited to study the flow at only 3-4 different Reynold numbers. Not to mention the parallel codes and the complicated grid transformations he had to do.. Ok.. Ill stop the jargons now=)

but, it makes me think, subhanallah..the vastness of Allah's knowledge is just amazing.. now, here I am studying DNA sequencing and subhanallah, subhanallah..many times in lecture i just flop at the amazingness of Allah's intricate and amazing design..

though its different from mach shocks, but the overwhelming feeling from the amazingness is somewhat similar.. its just mind-boggling and astounding that it makes you take a step back and in the struggle to find words, your heart overpowers the brain and the only words you can say is

Subhanallah...

Subhanallah..

Reminds me of the words of Khidr to Nabi Musa in hadith Bukhari, a commentary in surah al-Kahf, "that the knowledge we have compared to Allah is like that of a bird that sips water from the ocean.."

To be given the opportunity to learn, to study is indeed a blessing from Allah Taala..

(96:5) He has taught men that which he knew not..

May the knowlege that Allah has blessed us with make us means to submit and humble our hearts to the realization of His Greatness..

(3:191) ... and think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying) "Our Rabb, You have not created all this without purpose, Subhanaka! (glory toYou). Give us the salvation from the torment of Fire.."

and not make our hearts hard with arrogance like Qarun when,
(28:78) he said, "This (his wealth) has been given only because of the knowledge i possess.."

ok.. back to my sequencing paper=)

monotonicity

in front of my house there is a church.
on our right there is a pub.

on sunday mornings the church bell keeps ringing so that people would come for prayers. I see people dressed to the nines from my window. They even bring children.
At night time, the pub will cause a lot of people to talk weirdly as they pass my window.
There will be no one at the church.

i just moved office. i am now in what used to be the boat room. its called boat room because there are lots of boats hanging from the ceiling.

Maybe its there to remind me that life is like sailing in a boat. Sometimes when things go wrong-when the engines not working- the boat has no option but to sail with the wind and the waves. Whichever way the wind blows- there it sails. Whatever conditions Allah puts us in, there we will be. Sometimes we arent able to change the situation, but we can change how we react towards it.

I think the boats are there to remind me i should put my trust in Allah, regardless.

Our computers arent yet networked. there is in fact no network. so i cannot use the programmes and softwares that i must use.

Networking is very important.

Uni is quiet today. Maybe because it is SWOT VAC. I still have lectures on wednesday and thursday. But maybe its quiet because tomorrow is Melbourne Cup.

My code is misbehaving. Maybe it doesnt like me working on it too much. But it has to understand that I have to! How do we make something understand? or someone for that matter?

Aaah. the boats hanging from the ceiling.

My roses are starting to wilt. My friend told me last sunday, everything in this world will die. Even the cells she's been working on in her lab. The same to my dear roses i guess. I pressed the daisy though. I wanted to preserve it. It is pressed in my big huge Kreyzig Engineering Maths book. Preserved like the body of pharoah.

Oh. Thats scary.

f.l.o.w.e.r.s =)

i love flowers!=)

and today my girlfriends gave me a beeeautiful bunch of red roses and a red gerbera daisy!!=)

friendship is like flowers in the garden of life..

im not sure why i remember this quote-given to me almost 10 years ago.. but anyhow,thank you thank you thank you!!!=)

(8:62-63) ...He it is Who has supported you with His Help and with the mu'min..

And He has united their hearts.. If you had spent all that is in earth, you could have not united their hearts, but Allah has united them

friends are indeed a blessing from Allah Taala..

its amazing how the gift of a friend's simple smile (and flowers=D ) can boost our spirits=)

this harsh and splendid land..
with snow-covered rock mountains, cold-crystal streams..
deep forests of cypress, juniper and ash..
is as much my body as what you see before you here..
i cannot be separated from this or from you..
our many hearts have only a single beat

- The warrior song of King Gezar

Minaret

The mercy and forgiveness of Allah Taala is like the vast sea.
Our sins is akin to a lump of clay between a pigeons beak.
The pigeon is perched on a branch at the edge of the sea.
All the pigeon needs to do is open its beak

-Minaret by Leila Aboulela-

tawakkal

"Chikara"

Meaning: strength; force; might; efforts; resources; capacity; talent.

Symbology: inner strength and intensity of love / the essence of true
strength that comes from within.

strength from within is when our reliance is totally upon Allah..

tawakkal..
tawakkal..

putting trust in Allah..
total trust..
because Allah loves those who put trust in Him..
and there's no One better than Him for us to put our utmost trust..

at what seems to be our lowest point in life, or one of the lowest..
when getting up after a dreadful fall just doesn't seem possible anymore..
the pain - excruciating..
the humiliation..

but its that trust upon our dear Allah that will provide this surge of warmth
and strength to get up, and continue the journey of life..

ya Allah..You are indeed my strength..
=')

Jannah

Salam=)

ya Allah, accept from us our amal throughout this blessed Ramadhan ya Allah Most Gracious, Asy-Syakur..
and do grant us forgiveness, ya Rabb..

just came back from taalim and i just have to share this beautiful hadith.

i cant remember the exact words;
but in essence my dear friends, our dear nabi sent his salam to you and I - his ummah.. and he wants us to know that the water in paradise is indeed delightful and that the soil in jannah is subur..

hence, rasulullah pesan, tanamlah di dalam jannahmu tanaman2 zikir - lahawlawala quwwata illa billah.. ada riwayat that says, subhanallah walhamdulillah..lailahaillalah..

telah angau skejap during the halaqah (hehe..) that Allah Taala has given us each a jannah, or a garden, and it is up to us to choose what plants we yearn to reap..

so what plants do you want to see when you enter your jannah?=)

Rabbana aatina fiddunya hasanah..wafil aakhirati hasanah..waqina azabannar..
ya Rabb, grant us good in this dunya, grant us good in akhirah, and save us from the azab of the Fire=(

(24:24-25) ..a goodly word as a goodly tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches (reach) to the sky.. Giving its fruit at all times by the leave of your Lord..

(24:26) and the parable of an evil word is that of an evil tree uprooted from the surface of the earth.. having no stability..

(2:261) The likeness of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is as the likeness of a grain, it grows 7 ears, and each ear has a hundred grains - Allah gives manifold increase to whom he wants..

let us plant the most beautiful trees in our jannah by doing zikir, saying good words, inviting hearts to return to Allah Taala, and by spending in the way of Allah=)

may Allah by His Sifat, Asy-Syakur -multiply our reward=)

drunk but sober

Ramadhann!!=)=)

Alhamdulillah ala kulli.. Thank You Allah for letting us once again experience the beauty of Ramadhan=)

May Allah grant us all the sweetness in reading Quran, and doing solat and mulitply the rewards for all our ibadah=) aminn!!

Yesterday, my dear friend, zahra and I were walking from my house to Melbourne Uni's musalla for tarawih prayers..

As we were walking, a drunk lady came up to us. There's something about drunk people . It can be scary at times, and I would be lying if I said i didnt feel that way then.

"Excuse me!! excuse me!! (in a relatively mabuk but polite manner) "im sorry for being ignorant, but can I ask you something? You know its Ramadhan right?? so do you guys not eat during the day or the night?"

Smiling (while eyeing cautiously at her green bottle-just in case in her inebriation decides that we'd make good bottle smashers), "owh, we dont eat during the day. but night's fine.."

"owhh..thats beautiful..thats great.. yeah.. i pray too.."

"owh really? where do you pray?" (was racking my brain to keep her talking - still slightly worried at the sight of the bottle)

"i pray anywhere.." - while showing her forehead. I wasnt sure what that meant - maybe she's seen muslims sujud in their prayers.. or maybe thats how she finds solace while praying.. Allah knows best..

i was like, "yupp yupp..its really important to pray.. because thats when we find peace of mind"
she was already standing quite near, but alhamdulilah i wasnt worried anymore..

"yeahh" (in a very aussie accent).. "its really important to go back to God..remember Him"

we talked a bit more before we said our goodbyes.
subhanallah..i pity her. tho her mind may not be totally sober at that point of time, her heart was.. and i make doa may Allah give her guidance..

anyway, just thot of sharing with you my first few moments of the glorious Ramadhan..

subhanallah, nothing, and i mean NOTHING can beat the bestest nikmat of Allah SWT - the gift of Islam..let us NEVER NEVER EVER take this for granted.. jangan sgt sgt..

ya Allah, make us the source of hidayah for others.. make our Ramadhan better than before..ya Allah, grant us forgiveness and taqwa..

Father and son

A father came home one evening.. tired, stressed - drained from spending the whole day at work, he opened the door of his house to be welcomed by his son..

"Father! how much do you get per hour?" his son asked.

The father could feel his face grow hot.."I get $20 an hour but its none of your business! Why are you asking me this??" Annoyed and irritated by his son, he could feel his temper rising..

"Owh.." the boy's face fell.. "Father, can I ask you for $10 then?Please?"

"WHAT??you actually WANT money?? thats why you're asking? I work all day and now you ask me for money to buy some silly toy and such??? GO UP TO YOUR ROOM!" he roared.

As night dwelled, guilt started to creep in the conscience of the father.. "Maybe i was too harsh to my boy" he whispered to himself..

So he slowly stood and walked to his son's room..

"Are you asleep?"
"No..Not yet dad.."

The father sat on his bed and sad, "Im sorry..Ive been having a bad week at work and I vent out my frustration to you..Here's the $10 you asked for..Tell me, why do you want this money?"

Elated, the son took the $10 note with his right hand and lifted his pillow with his left.. There were crumpled notes under the pillow..

As his son counted the notes, he started to feel his temper rising again, "you already have money!!!! why did you ask for more?? why are you being soo selfish??"

"Dad.. I havent eaten with you for ages..I havent been able to even see you much at home.. I thought if I had $20, then I can buy 1 hour of your time so that we can have dinner together.."


That was enough to bring the father's eyes to tears.
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$20 an hour is already sufficient to make us soo engrossed with work. Enough to ooze out all the dedication and determination as well as persistence that we have within ourselves..

each second, Allah pays us with the beat of the heart, sight, hearing and the list is endless..


if Allah takes back the nikmat of breathing for merely 2 minutes, at that point, we would be willing to give all ALL that we have, ALL that we have accumulated to get our breath back..

but yet we become so kedekut to spend time with Allah-berkira sgt..where's that determination? wheres that dedication? - when He pays us more than all the billionaires in the world put together..

Let us return to Allah SWT.. make dua, make taubat...

..dan kami meminta kecintaan kepadaMu, cinta kepada yg Kau cintai, dan cinta
kepada amal-amal yg mendekati kami kepada kecintaan kepadaMu...

Subhanallah...Exalted are You, my Allah..
Ya Allah forgive us..and grant us all hidayah from You.

ya Allah make us not among the mujrim which you have described DESIRING to ransom himself by, (70:11-15) his children, his wife and his brother.. his kindred who sheltered him AND ALL that are in the earth, so that it may save him!

mashaAllah.. the desperation exuded from the verse.. Alhamdulillah you are giving us the opportunity to still make taubat and seek for Your Pleasure..

Ramadhan kareem=) May Allah give us all the goodness He can give to a person this Ramadhan!! tak sabar tunggu tarawih esokk!!=)=)=) *heart whoops*